THINGS TO BE BORNE IN MIND IN MARCH.
Lady-day is the 25th. If you mean to change your residence about that time, bespeak a van in time, large enough to carry off everything at once without coming back again. But as March is a month in which the wind is generally very easily raised, hope for the best.
That Parliament gets into full swing this month; therefore, give up all notion of seeing a newspaper in a coffee-room under an hour after the sixth gentleman has applied for it.
The world of fashion is beginning to awaken. Change from the chrysalis state of the twelve shilling tweed to the butterfly transition of the guinea paletot. High-lows are, however, still to be met with on wet evenings, in damp situations. The gossamer sometimes takes flight this month to distant regions, therefore procure a piece of string.
Should you be unfortunately incarcerated for debts exceeding £20, Nicol's registered paletot will be the most suitable wear, as the advertisements say, that wearing it insures a general sense of freedom.
THE STAG
A NEW READING FROM "AS YOU LIKE IT."
Scene.—The Alley. Present, Two Directors.
1st Dir. Come, shall we take a look at Capel Court?
And yet I'm sorry, when I see the stags,
To think how we, being as bad ourselves,
Do call them rogues and knaves.
2nd Dir. Indeed, my friend,
The many-sided Brougham doth grieve at that,
And in that point swears we are more to blame
Than are the rascals that have gammoned us.
To-day, another genl'man and myself
Did sit beside him, as he took his lunch
In a steak-house, whose antique sign peeps out
Of a dark court, not far from the Exchange.
To the which place a poor sequestered stag,
That from a fall in shares had ta'en a hurt,
Did come to languish: and indeed, my friend,
The wretched animal heaved forth such groans,
That their discharge annoyed the diners round,
Almost to cursing; and the big, round tears
Coursed one another down his innocent nose
Into his stout; and thus the hapless stag,
Much marked of the many-sided Brougham,
Sat o'er the poor remains of a small steak,
Moistening his plate with tears.
1st Dir. But what said Brougham?
Did he not moralize this spectacle?
2nd Dir. Oh, yes! into a thousand similes.
First, for his weeping in his needless stout;
"Poor stag," quoth he, "thou makest half-an-half
As tapsters do, putting more water in
To that which had too much." Then, being alone,
Cleaned out, forsaken by his moneyed friends,
"'Tis right," quoth he, "I foresaw what would come
Of joint-stock companies."—Anon, a lot,
Who'd sold in time, sat down hard by to dine,
And ne'er asked him to join 'em. "Ay," quoth Brougham,
"Dine on, ye fat and greasy citizens;
Had all their rights, you'd be in the same book
As that decayed and broken bankrupt there."
Thus most invectively he pierceth thro'
The Stock Exchange, the City, Capel Court.
Yea, and Directors; swearing that we, too,
Are men of straw, humbugs, and something worse,
To fall foul of the stags, and drive them out
Of their assigned and native dwelling-place.