WHO SHALL EDUCATE THE PRINCE OF WALES?
Wanted a Tutor!
His qualities we thus define:—
In mind he must be masculine,
In politics quite neuter.
Of law he must possess a smattering,
Sufficient just to set him chattering
On the prerogatives of kings,
And other less important things.
Of how the English crown
Has come from William down;
How it descended smooth and even,
Till from the Empress Maud
It was unjustly clawed,
By her ambitious younger cousin Stephen.
How subsequently John
Did try it on;
Causing a slight digression
In the succession.
And how, to come to times much nigher,
The title to the crown,
Upon the heirs was settled down,
Of the Princess Sophia.
Wanted a Tutor for the Prince of Wales!
No one whose patience ever fails,
Whate'er that patience may occur to try,
Need take the trouble to apply.
He must possess the power
Of making learning quite a treat;
Retaining nothing but the sweet,
And throwing out the sour.
To grammar and orthography,
To spelling and geography,
To Latin and geometry,
To Greek and trigonometry,
He must be able to impart
Charms that will win a royal heart.
And this must all be done indeed
At railroad speed.
He must possess the power of teaching faster
Than those who promise in a week
To teach their pupils Spanish, French, or Greek,
Without a master!
He must be competent to give an inkling
Of all the sciences that are,
Teaching the name of every star,
Quite in a twinkling.
All those who seek the royal Tutor's place
Must be proficients in each modern grace;
No one need to the office make pretence
Who cannot teach the Prince to sing;
Dance, draw, and all that sort of thing,
And use the foils without offence.
Wanted a Tutor, patient, clever, steady,
With knowledge upon every topic,
Within each hemisphere and tropic,
Like joints at ordinaries, "always ready."
He must be in possession
Of first-rate knowledge,
That can be gleaned from every college,
As well as each profession.
To matters clerical and lay
He must be quite au fait.
Army and navy he must comprehend,
To everything his knowledge must extend;
But nota bene, by-the-bye,
No lawyer, churchman, soldier, sailor, need apply.