[Sc. xvi.]
Enter Clowne and an other.
Clowne I say no, she ought not to be buried
In christian buriall.
2. Why sir?
Clowne Mary because shee's drownd.
2. But she did not drowne her selfe. 5
Clowne No, that's certaine, the water drown'd her.
2. Yea but it was against her will.
Clowne No, I deny that, for looke you sir, I stand here,
If the water come to me, I drowne not my selfe:
But if I goe to the water, and am there drown'd, 10
Ergo I am guiltie of my owne death:
Y'are gone, goe y'are gone sir.
2. I but see, she hath christian buriall,
Because she is a great woman.
Clowne Mary more's the pitty, that great folke 15
Should haue more authoritie to hang or drowne
Themselues, more than other people:
Goe fetch me a stope of drinke, but before thou
Goest, tell me one thing, who buildes strongest,
Of a Mason, a Shipwright, or a Carpenter? 20
2. Why a Mason, for he buildes all of stone,
And will indure long.
Clowne That's prety, too't agen, too't agen.
2. Why then a Carpenter, for he buildes the gallowes,
And that brings many a one to his long home. 25
Clowne Prety agen, the gallowes doth well, mary howe
dooes it well? the gallowes dooes well to them that doe ill,
goe get thee gone:
And if any one aske thee hereafter, say,
A Graue-maker, for the houses he buildes 30
Last till Doomes-day. Fetch me a stope of beere, goe.
Enter Hamlet and Horatio.
Clowne A picke-axe and a spade,
A spade for and a winding sheete,
Most fit it is, for t'will be made, he throwes vp a shouel.
For such a ghest most meete. 35
Ham. Hath this fellow any feeling of himselfe,
That is thus merry in making of a graue?
See how the slaue joles their heads against the earth.
Hor. My lord, Custome hath made it in him seeme nothing.
Clowne A pick-axe and a spade, a spade, 40
For and a winding sheete,
Most fit it is for to be made,
For such a ghest most meet.
Ham. Looke you, there's another Horatio.
Why mai't not be the scull of some Lawyer? 45
Me thinkes he should indite that fellow
Of an action of Batterie, for knocking
Him about the pate with's shouel: now where is your
Quirkes and quillets now, your vouchers and
Double vouchers, your leases and free-holde, 50
And tenements? why that same boxe there will scarse
Holde the conueiance of his land, and must
The honor lie there? O pittifull transformance!
I prethee tell me Horatio,
Is parchment made of sheep-skinnes? 55
Hor. I my Lorde, and of calues-skinnes too.
Ham. Ifaith they prooue themselues sheepe and calues
That deale with them, or put their trust in them.
There's another, why may not that be such a ones
Scull, that praised my Lord such a ones horse, 60
When he meant to beg him? Horatio, I prethee
Lets question yonder fellow.
Now my friend, whose graue is this?
Clowne Mine sir.
Ham. But who must lie in it? 65
Clowne If I should say, I should, I should lie in my throat sir.
Ham. What man must be buried here?
Clowne No man sir.
Ham. What woman?
Clowne. No woman neither sir, but indeede 70
One that was a woman.
Ham. An excellent fellow by the Lord Horatio,
This seauen yeares haue I noted it: the toe of the pesant,
Comes so neere the heele of the courtier,
That hee gawles his kibe, I prethee tell mee one thing, 75
How long will a man lie in the ground before hee rots?
Clowne Ifaith sir, if hee be not rotten before
He be laide in, as we haue many pocky corses,
He will last you, eight yeares, a tanner
Will last you eight yeares full out, or nine. 80
Ham. And why a tanner?
Clowne Why his hide is so tanned with his trade,
That it will holde out water, that's a parlous
Deuourer of your dead body, a great soaker.
Looke you, heres a scull hath bin here this dozen yeare, 85
Let me see, I euer since our last king Hamlet
Slew Fortenbrasse in combat, yong Hamlets father,
Hee that's mad.
Ham. I mary, how came he madde?
Clowne Ifaith very strangely, by loosing of his wittes. 90
Ham. Vpon what ground?
Clowne A this ground, in Denmarke.
Ham. Where is he now?
Clowne Why now they sent him to England.
Ham. To England! wherefore? 95
Clowne Why they say he shall haue his wittes there,
Or if he haue not, t'is no great matter there,
It will not be seene there.
Ham. Why not there?
Clowne Why there they say the men are as mad as he. 100
Ham. Whose scull was this?
Clowne This, a plague on him, a madde rogues it was,
He powred once a whole flagon of Rhenish of my head,
Why do not you know him? this was one Yorickes scull.
Ham. Was this? I prethee let me see it, alas poore Yoricke 105
I knew him Horatio,
A fellow of infinite mirth, he hath caried mee twenty times
vpon his backe, here hung those lippes that I haue Kissed a
hundred times, and to see, now they abhorre me: Wheres
your iests now Yoricke? your flashes of meriment: now go 110
to my Ladies chamber, and bid her paint her selfe an inch
thicke, to this she must come Yoricke. Horatio, I prethee
tell me one thing, doost thou thinke that Alexander looked
thus?
Hor. Euen so my Lord. 115
Ham. And smelt thus?
Ham. No, why might not imagination worke, as thus of
Alexander, Alexander died, Alexander was buried, Alexander
became earth, of earth we make clay, and Alexander being 120
but clay, why might not time bring to passe, that he might
stoppe the boung hole of a beere barrell?
Imperious Cæsar dead and turnd to clay,
Might stoppe a hole, to keepe the winde away.
Enter King and Queene, Leartes, and other lordes, with a Priest after the coffin.
Ham. What funerall's this that all the Court laments? 125
It shews to be some noble parentage:
Stand by a while.
Lear. What ceremony else? say, what ceremony else?
Priest My Lord, we haue done all that lies in vs,
And more than well the church can tolerate, 130
She hath had a Dirge sung for her maiden soule:
And but for fauour of the king, and you,
She had beene buried in the open fieldes,
Where now she is allowed christian buriall.
Lear. So, I tell thee churlish Priest, a ministring Angell 135
shall my sister be, when thou liest howling.
Ham. The faire Ofelia dead!
Queene Sweetes to the sweete, farewell:
I had thought to adorne thy bridale bed, faire maide,
And not to follow thee vnto thy graue. 140
Lear. Forbeare the earth a while: sister farewell:
Leartes leapes into the graue.
Now powre your earth on, Olympus hie,
And make a hill to o're top olde Pellon: Hamlet leapes in after Leartes
Whats he that coniures so?
Ham. Beholde tis I, Hamlet the Dane. 145
Lear. The diuell take thy soule.
Ham. O thou praiest not well,
I prethee take thy hand from off my throate,
For there is something in me dangerous,
Which let thy wisedome feare, holde off thy hand: 150
I lou'de Ofelia as deere as twenty brothers could:
Shew me what thou wilt doe for her:
Wilt fight, wilt fast, wilt pray,
Wilt drinke vp vessels, eate a crocadile? Ile doot:
Com'st thou here to whine? 155
And where thou talk'st of burying thee a liue,
Here let vs stand: and let them throw on vs,
Whole hills of earth, till with the heighth therof,
Make Oosell as a Wart.
King. Forbeare Leartes, now is hee mad, as is the sea,
Anone as milde and gentle as a Doue:
Therfore a while giue his wilde humour scope.
Ham. What is the reason sir that you wrong mee thus?
I neuer gaue you cause: but stand away,
A Cat will meaw, a Dog will haue a day. 165
Exit Hamlet and Horatio.