ACT I
SETTING: A Negro village in Florida in our own time. All action from viewpoint of an actor facing audience.
PLACE: Joe Clarke's store porch in the village. A frame building with a false front. A low porch with two steps up. Door in center of porch. A window on each side of the door. A bench on each side of the porch. Axhandles, hoes and shovels, etc. are displayed leaning against the wall. Exits right and left. Street is unpaved. Grass and weeds growing all over.
TIME: It is late afternoon on a Saturday in summer.
Before the curtain rises the voices of children are heard, boisterous at play. Shouts and laughter.
VOICE OF ONE BOY Naw, I don't want to play wringing no dish rag! We gointer play chick mah chick mah craney crow.
GIRL'S VOICE
Yeah, less play dat, and I'm gointer to be de hen.
BOY'S VOICE And I'm gointer be de hawk. Lemme git myself a stick to mark wid. (The curtain rises slowly. As it goes up the game is being organized. The boy who is the hawk is squatting center stage in the street before the store with a short twig in his hand. The largest girl is lining up the other children behind her.)
THE MOTHER HEN (looking back over her flock) Y'all ketch holt of one 'nother's clothes so de hauk can't git yuh. (They do.) Y'all straight now?
CHORUS
Yeah. (The march around the hawk commences.)
HEN AND CHICKS
Chick mah chick mah craney crow
Went to de well to wash my toe
When I come back my chick was gone.
What time ole witch?
HAWK (making a tally on the ground) One!
HEN AND CHICKS Chick mah chick etc.—(While this is going on Walter Thomas from the store door eating peanuts from a bag appears and seats himself on the porch beside the steps.)
HAWK
(Scoring again) Two!
(Enter a little girl right. She trots up to
the big girl.)
LITTLE GIRL (officiously) Titter, mama say if you don't come on wid dat soap she gointer wear you out.
HEN AND CHICKS Chick mah chick etc. (While this is being sung, enter Joe Lindsay and seats himself on right bench. He lights his pipe. The little girl stands b by the fence rubbing her leg with her foot.
HAWK (scoring) Three!
LITTLE GIRL (insistent) Titter, titter! Mama say to tell you to come on home wid dat soap and rake up dat yard. I bet she gointer beat you good.
BIG GIRL (angrily) Aw naw, mama ain't sent you after me, nothin' of de kind! Gwan home and leave me alone.
LITTLE GIRL You better come on! I'm gointer tell mama how 'omanish you actin cause you in front of dese boys.
BIG GIRL (makes a threatenin' gesture) Aw don't be so fast and showin' off in company. Ack lak you ain't got no sense!
LITTLE GIRL (starts to cry) Dat's all right. I'm going home and tell mama you down here playing wid boys and she sho gointer whup you good, too. I'm gointer tell her you called me a fool too, now. (She walks off, wiping her eyes and nose with the back of her hand) Yeah, I'm goin' tell her! Jus' showin' off in front of ole John Wesley Taylor. I'm going to tell her too, now.
BIG GIRL (flounces her skirt) Tell her! Tell her! Turn her up and smell her! (Game resumed) Chick mah chick etc.
HAWK Four! (He arises and imitates a hawk flying and trying to catch a chicken. Calling in a high voice.) Chickie!!
HEN
(Flapping her wings to protect her young) My chickens' sleep.
HAWK
Chickie!!
HEN
My chickens' sleep.
HAWK
I shall have a chick.
HEN
You shan't have a chick.
HAWK
I'm going home. (flies off)
HEN
There's de road.
HAWK
I'm comin' back.
(During this dialog the hawk is feinting and darting in his efforts to catch a chicken and the chickens are dancing defensively.)
HEN
Don't keer if you do.
HAWK
My pot's a boiling.
HEN
Let it boil.
HAWK
My guts a growling
HEN
Let 'em growl.
HAWK
I must have a chick.
HEN
You shan't have nairn.
HAWK
My mama's sick.
HEN
Let her die.
HAWK
Chickie!!
HEN
My chicken's sleep.
(Hawk darts quickly around the hen and grabs a chicken and leads him off and places the captive on his knees at the store porch. After a brief bit of dancing he catches another, then a third who is a chubby little boy. The little boy begins to cry.)
LITTLE BOY
I ain't gointer play cause you hurt me.
HAWK
Aw, naw, I din't hurt you.
LITTLE BOY Yeah you did too. You pecked me right here. (points to top of his head)
HAWK Well if you so touchous you got to cry every time anybody look at you, you can't play wid us.
LITTLE BOY (smothering sobs) I ain't cryin'. (He is placed with the other captives. Hawk returns to game.)
HAWK
Chickie.
HEN
My chickens sleep!
VOICE FROM A DISTANCE
Titter! You Titter!!!
BIG GIRL
Yessum
VOICE
If you don't come here wid dat soap you better!
BIG GIRL (shakes herself poutingly, half sobs) Soon's I git grown I'm gointer run away. Everytime a person gits to havin' fun, it's "come here, Titter and rake de yard." She don't never make Bubber do nothin. (She exits into the store.)
HAWK
Now we ain't got no hen.
ALL THE GIRLS (in a clamor) I'll be de mama hen! Lemme be it! (Enter Hambo left and stands looking at the children.)
HAMBO
Can't dese young uns keep up a powerful racket, Joe?
LINDSAY They sho kin. They kin git round so vi'grous when they whoopin and hollerin and rompin and racin, but just put 'em to work now and you kin count dead lice fallin' off of 'em.
(Enter Tillie from the store with the soap. Hambo pulls out a plug of tobacco from his hip pocket and bites a chunk from it.)
HAMBO
De way dese chillun is dese days is,—eat? Yes! Squall and holler?
Yes! Kick out shoes? Yes! Work? No!!
LINDSAY You sho is tellin' de truth. Now look at dese! I'll bet everyone of 'em's mammies sent 'em to de store an' they out here frollickin'. If one of 'em was mine, I'd whup 'em till they couldn't set down. (to the children) Shet up dat racket and gwan home! (The children pay no attention and the game gets hotter.)
DISTANT VOICE (off stage) You Tit-ter!! You Tit-Ter!!
WALTER
Titter, don't you hear yo' ma callin' you?
ESSIE
Yessuh, I mean naw suh.
LINDSAY How come you can't answer, then? Lawd knows de folks just ruins chilluns dese days. Deys skeered tuh whup 'em right. Den before they gits twenty de gals done come up wid somethin' in dey arms an' de boys on de chain gang. If you don't whup 'em, they'll whip you.
HAMBO Dat sho is whut de Lawd loves. When I wuz a boy they raised chillen then. Now they lets 'em do as they please. There ain't no real chestizing no more. They takes a lil tee-ninchy switch and tickles em. No wonder de world is in sich uh mess.
VOICE OFF STAGE
You Tit-ter!! Aw Titter!!
ESSIE (stops to listen) Yessum!!
VOICE OFF STAGE
If you don't come here, you better!
ESSIE Yessum! (to her playmates) Aw shucks! I got to go home. (She exits right, walking sullenly. The game has stopped.)
LINDSAY (pointing at Essie) You see dat gal shakin' herself at her mammy? De sassy lil binch needs her guts stomped out. (to Essie) Run! I'm comin' on down there an' tell yo' ma how 'omanish you is, shakin' yo'self at grown folks. (Essie walks slower and shakes her skirt contemptously. Lindsay jumps to his feet as if to pursue her.) You must smell yo'self! (Essie exits.) Now de rest of you haitians scatter way from in front dis store. Dis ain't no place for chillen, nohow. (gesture of shooing) Gwan! Thin out! Every time a grownperson open they mouf y'all right dere to gaze down they throat. Git! (The children exit sullenly right. In the silence that follows the cracking of Walter's peanut shells can be heard very plainly.)
HAMBO Walter, God a' mighty! You better quit eatin' em ground peas de way you do. You gointer die wid de colic.
LINDSAY Aw, taint gointer hurt him. I don't b'lieve uh cord uh wood would lay heavy on Walter's belly. He kin eat mo' penders than Brazzle's mule.
WALTER (laughing) Aw naw, don't throw me in wid dat mule. He could eat up camp-meetin, back off scociation and drink Jurdan dry.
LINDSAY
And still stay so po' till he wuzn't nothin atall but a mule frame.
(Enter Lige Moseley right) Taint never been no mule in de world lak
dat ole yaller mule since Jonah went to joppy.
(Lige seats himself on the floor on the other side of the steps. Pulls out a bone toothpick and begins to pick his teeth)
LIGE
Y'all still talkin bout Brazzle's ole useter-be mule?
HAMBO
Yeah. Memeber dat time Brazzle hitched him to de plow and took him to
Eshleman's new ground?
LIGE And he laid down before he'd plow a lick. Sho I do! But who ever seen him work? All you ever did see was him and Brazzle fightin up and down de furrows. (all laugh) He was so mean he would even try to kick you if you went in his stall to carry him some corn.
WALTER Nothin but pure concentrated meanness stuffed into uh mule hide. Thass de reason he wouldn't git fat—just too mean.
LIGE Sho was skinny now. You could use his ribs for a washboard and hang de clothes up on his hips to dry. (all laugh)
HAMBO Lige, you kin lie [Note: "like" crossed out] lak cross ties [Note inserted text: from Jacksonville to Key West.]. But layin all sides to jokes, when they told me dat mule was dead, uh just took and knocked off from work to see him drug out lak all de rest of de folks, and folkses dat mule wuz too contrary to lay down on his side and die. He laid on his raw-boney back wid his foots stickin straight up in de air lak he wuz fightin something.
LINDSAY He wuz—bet he fought ole death lak a natural man. Ah seen his bones yistiddy, out dere on de edge of de cypress swamp. De buzzards done picked em clean and de elements done bleached em.
LIGE Everybody went to dat draggin out. Even Joe Clarke shet up his store dat mornin and went (turns his head and calls into the store) didn't you, Mr. Clarke?
CLARKE'S VOICE
Didn't I whut? (enters and stands in door)
LIGE
Shet up yo' store and go to de draggin out of Brazzle's ole mule.
CLARKE I, God, Yeah. It was worth it. (sees Hambo) I didn't know you was out here. Lemme beat you uh game of checkers.
HAMBO Lissen at de ole tush hawg! Well, go git de board, and lemme beat you a pair of games befo' de mail gits in.
CLARKE (to the others) Beat old me! (to Hambo) Come on here, youse my fish. (calls into store) Mattie bring me dat checker-board and de checkers! (to men on porch) You got to talk to wimmen-folks lak dat—tell 'em every lil' thing-do she'd come rackin out here wid de board by itself.
(Enter Mrs. Clarke with homemade checker-board and coffee can containing the much-used checkers. Clarke sits on a keg and faces Hambo. They put the board on their knees and pour out the checkers)
HAMBO
You want black or red?
CLARKE Oh, I don't keer which—I'm gointer beat you anyhow. You take de black. (they arrange them. The others get near to look on. Hambo sits looking at the board without moving.)
HAMBO
Who's first move?
CLARKE Black folks always go to work first. Move! (Hambo moves and the same proceeds with the spectators very interested. Enter Lum Boger [Note: Handwritten correction: Bailey] right and joins the spectators. A woman enters left with a market basket and goes on in the store. The checkers click on the board. A girl about twelve enters right and goes into the store and comes out with a stick of peppermint candy.
WALTER Naw you don't Hambo!—Don't you go in dere! Dats a trap—(pointing) come right here and you got him.
LIGE
Back dat man up (pointing) Hambo do he'll git et up.
(there is the noise of the checkers for a half minute then a general shout of triumph)
SPECTATORS
You got him now, Hambo! Clarke, he's sho got you.
CLARKE
(Chagrined) Aw, he aint done nothin! Jes' watch ME.
HAMBO
(Jeering) Yeah, gwan move! Ha! Ha! go head and move.
SPECTATORS
Aw, he got you, Bro. Mayor—might as well give up. He got you in de
Louisville loop.
CLARKE Give up what? He can't beat me? (peeved) de rest of y'all git from over me, whoopin and hollerin! I God, a man can't hear his ears.
(The men fall back revealing the players clearly)
HAMBO Aw, neb mind bout them, Joe, go head and move. You aint got but one move to make nohow—go head on and take it.
CLARKE (moving a checker) Aw, here.
HAMBO (triumphant) Now! watch me boys whut Ahm gonna do to him. Ahm gonna laff in notes, while Ah work on him. (he lifts a checker high in the air preparatory to the jump, laughing to the scale and counting each checker he jumps out loud) Do, sol, fa, me, la! One! (jumps a checker) la, sol, fa, me, do! Two! (jumps another) Do, re, fa, me, do, Three! Me, re, la, so, fa! Four! (the crowd is roaring with laughter) Sol, fa, me, la, sol, do! Five! Ha! Ha! boys I got [Note: "the" x-ed out] de ole tush hawg! I got him in de go-long. (He slaps his leg and accidently knocks the board off his knee and spills the checkers.)
CLARKE Too bad you done dat, Hambo, cause Ah was gointer beat you at dat (he rises and starts towards the door of the store as the crowd roars in laughter)
HAMBO
You mean you was gointer beat me to de door, not a game Of checkers.
Ah done run de ole coon in his hole.
LIGE Well, Hambo, you done got to be so hard at checkers, come on less see whut you can do wid de cards. (He pulls out a soiled deck from his coat pocket and moves toward the bench at the left of the porch) You take Lum and me and Walter will wear you out.
HAMBO
You know I don't play no cards.
LUM
We aint playin for no money, just a lil Florida flip.
HAMBO Y'all can't play no Florida flip. 'Fore Ah joined de church there wasn't a man in de state could beat me wid de cards. But Ahm a deacon now, in Macedonia Baptist—Ah don't bother wid de cards no mo". (He and Joe Lindsay go inside store)
LIGE
Well, come on Lum. Walter, git yo'self a partner.
WALTER
(Looking about) Taint nobody to git (looks off right) Here come Dave
Carter.
LIGE You can't do nothin wid him dese days. He useter choose a game of cards when he wasn't out huntin, but now when he ain't out huntin varmints he's huntin' Daisy Blunt. (Enter Dave right with a shot-gun slung over his shoulder.)
WALTER Come on, fish, lemme bend a five-up over yo' head. You looks just like my meat.
DAVE Ahm on mah way to kill me a turkey gobbler, but if you and Lum thinks y'all's tush hawgs Ah'll stop long enough to take you down a button-hole lower. (He sets his gun down and finds a seat and draws it up to the card table)
WALTER Naw, Dave, we aint going to fool wid no button-holes we gointer tear off de whole piece dat de button-holes is in. (They all get set) All right boys, turn it on and let de bad luck happen.
LIGE
(Probbing the deck) My deal.
WALTER Watch yo'self Dave, don't get to worryin bout Daisy and let 'em ketch yo' jack.
LUM
(Winking) What you reckon he gointer be worryin' bout Daisy for? Dot's
Jim's gal.
DAVE Air Lawd, a heap sees but a few knows. Deal de cards man—you shufflin' a mighty lot.
WALTER
Sho is—must be tryin' to carry de cut to us.
LIGE Aw, we ain't gonna cheat you, we gonna beat you. (He slams down the cards for Dave to cut) Wanna cut 'em?
DAVE
Nope. Taint no use cuttin' a rabbit out when you kin twist him out.
Deal 'em! (Lige deals and turns up Jack of spades.)
WALTER
Yee-ee! Did you snatch dat Jack?
LIGE
Man, you know I ain't snatched no Jack. Whut you doin'?
WALTER
I'm beggin!
LIGE
Go ahead and tell 'em I sent you.
WALTER Play just like ahm in New York, partner. (scratches his head) We oughter try to ketch dat Jack.
LIGE
Stick out yo' hand an' you'll draw back a nub.
WALTER
Whut you want me to play for you, partner?
DAVE
Play me a baby diamond.
(Walter plays, then Lum, then Dave)
LUM (Triumphant) Looka pardner, they doin all dat woofin on uh queen—sendin' women to do uh man's work. Watch me stomp her wid mah king (He slams his card down and collects the trick.) Now come un under dis ace! (They all play and he collects the trick.) Now whut you want me to play for you, pardner?
LIGE
How many times you seen de deck.
LUM
Twice
LIGE
Pull off wid yo' king.
(Lum plays the king of spades. All the others play.) Look at ole low pardner. Ah knowed ah wuz gointer ketch him! Come right back at 'em.
LUM (stands up and slams down the ace) Pack up, pardner. Ahm playin' mah knots, now all play now. Ho! Ho! Dere goes de queen'. De Jack's a gentleman! (Lige takes the Jack and sticks it up on his forehead in braggadocia.) Here comes de ten spot, pardner, ahm dumpin to yuh!
LIGE (as he plays the Jack) Everybody git up off it and dump. High, low, Jack, game and gone from de first four.
WALTER
Gimme dem cards! Y'all carried de cub to us dat time. (riffles the
cards elaborately) but de deal is in de high, tall house now. Dis is
Booker T Washington spreadin his mess. (offers cards to Lige) Cut?
LIGE
Yeah, cut 'em and shoot 'em. I'd cut behind mah ma. (He cuts and
Walter deals.)
WALTER
Well, whut sayin'?
LUM
I'm beggin.
WALTER
Get up off yo' knees. Youse dat one.
LIGE
Walter, you sho stacked dese cards.
WALTER Aw, stop cryin' and play, man. Youse too old to be hollerin' titty-mama.
LUM Dis ain't no hand, dis is a foot. What you want me to play for you partner?
LIGE Play yo' own hand partner—I ain't nobody. Lead yo' bosses. (He leads the ace of clubs. Play goes round to dealer and Walter takes the card off the deck and slams it down.)
WALTER Get up ol' deuce of diamonds and gallop off wid yo' load. Pardner, how many times you seen de deck?
DAVE
(Two times—(they make signals.)
WALTER Watch dis ol' queen. Less go! (He begins to sing—Dave joins in.) When yo' card gits lucky, oh pardner, you oughter be in a rollin' game. (He speaks.) Ha! Ha! Wash day and no soap! (He sticks the Jack upon his forehead. He stands up and sings again.) Ahm goin' to de 'Bama Lawd. Pardner don't want no change. (He collects that trick and plays again. Dave also stands.)
DAVE Here come de man from de White House—ol' king of diamonds. (Sings, all join.) Ahm goin' back to de Bama, Lawd. Pardner won't be worried wid you. (He collects the trick.) Never had no trouble, Lour pardner, till I stopped by here.
(They all stand hilariously slam down their cards.
WALTER Aw, wese just too hard for you boys—we eats our dinner out de blacksmith shop. Y'all can't bully dis game. (He solemnly reaches over and takes Dave's hand.)
DAVE (to Walter) Mr. Hoover, you sho is a noble president. We done stuck dese shad-moufs full of cobs. They skeered to play us any mo'.
LIGE Who skeered? Y'all jus' playin ketch up nohow. Git back down and lemme wrap uh five-up round yo' neck.
DAVE (looking off right) Squat dat rabbit an' less jump another one. Here come Daisy.
WALTER Aw Lord, you ain't no mo' good now. But Ah don't blame you, Dave, she looks warm.
(Enter Daisy right with a scarlet hibiscus over each ear and smiling broadly.)
LIGE (jumps down and takes Daisy by the arm) Come on up here, Daisy and ease Dave's pain. He's so crazy 'bout you his heart 'bout to burn a hole in his shirt. (She steps up on the porch)
DAVE
(Bashfully) Aw, y'all gwan. Ah kin talk.
DAISY
(Arms akimbo, impudently) Oh kin you? (She gets up close to Dave)
DAVE
(Pleased) You better git way from me fore Jim come long.
DAISY (Coquettishly) Ain't you man enough to cover de ground you stand on?
DAVE
Oh, Ah can back my crap! Don't worry 'bout me. Where you headed for?
DAISY
Where you goin? (Audaciously)
DAVE Out by de cypress swamp to kill us uh turkey. Its uh great big ole gobbler—been slurring me fer six months. Ahm gointer git him today for you, and yo' mama gointer cook him.
DAISY
Ah sho would love the ham of turkey.
DAVE (Patting his gun barrel) Well me an' ole Hannah sho gointer git you one. Look here, Daisy, will you choose uh bag of ground peas?
DAISY
I jus love goobers
DAVE
(Sticking out his right elbow) You lak chicken?
DAISY
Yeah
DAVE Take uh wing. (She locks arms with him and they strut inside the store.)
LIGE
Ah blieve dat fool is got some gumption. Jim Weston better watch out.
WALTER
Oh I ain't never figgered Dave was no fool. He's uh bottom fish. Jim
talks all de time but Dave will run him uh hot—here he come now.
(Looks off left. All look the same way.)
LUM Lawd, don't he look mean? (She chuckles) Ah bet he know Daisy's here wid Dave. Ah wouldn't take nothin' for dis.
(Enter Jim Weston left with a guitar looking very glum. He stops beside the step for a moment. Takes off his hat and fans with it.)
JIM
Howdy do, folks.
ALL
Howdy do, Jim.
JIM Don't do all they say. (He sees the gun leaning against the rail) Who gun dat? (Points at the gun)
LIGE You know so well whose gun dat is. Ah jus' heard him say he's goin out to git his gal uh ham of a turkey gobbler out round de cypress swamp. He's inside now treatin her to penders and candy. (He winks at the others and they wink back)
WALTER (Turns and calls into the store) Say, Dave! Don't try to keep Daisy in dere all day. Her feller out here waitin to scorch her home.
DAVE (from inside store)
Let him come git her if she want him.
LIGE Umph! dere now, de mule done kicked Rucker! (Calls inside to Dave) I hear you crowin, rooster. I know yo' nest aint far.
HAMBO (From inside store) Yeah, dis rooster must know something—he's gittin plenty grit in his craw.
(General laughter)
(There is a gay burst of laughter from inside the store. In a moment
Dave enters from the store with Daisy on his left arm. With his right
he is stuffing shells into his pocket. The air is tense. Lindsay,
Hambo and Joe Clarke all enter behind the couple)
DAVE (Releases Daisy and steps to the edge of the porch right in front of Jim and looks up at the sky) Well, sun's gettin low—better git on out to de swamp and git dat gobbler. (He turns and picks up de gun and breaks it)
JIM
Lo Daisy. (Sullenly)
DAISY (Brightly) Hello Jimmy (She is eating peanuts) Ain't Dave smart? He's gonna kill me uh turkey an' ah kin eat all ah wants.
JIM
He aint de onliest person kin shoot round here.
LIGE Yeah, but he's best marksman just de same. Taint no use talkin, Jim. You can't buck Dave in de woods. But you got de world beat wid uh git-fiddle. Yessuh, Dave is uh sworn marksman but you kin really beat de box. Less have uh tune.
JIM
Oh I ain't for pickin no box. I come to git some shells for my rifle.
Sorta figgered on uh wild turkey or two. (He comes up on the porch and
starts in the store)
DAISY
If Dave go git me dat big ole turkey an' you go git me one too—gee!
Wont I have uh turkey fit?
LINDSAY
Lord, Daisy, you gointer have dese boys killin up every turkey in
Orange County.
WALTER You mean Dave. Jim couldn't hit de side of uh barn wid uh brass fiddle.
JIM (Hitching up his trousers) Who can't shoot? (to Clarke) Come on an' gimme un box uh shells. I'll show yuh who kin shoot! (He exits into store with Clarke behind him)
DAVE
(To Daisy) You wait here till ah git back wid yo' turkey.
DAISY
Ahm skeered.
DAVE Whut you skeered of? Jim? He aint no booger boo, if his ears do flop lak uh mule.
DAISY Naw. Ah aint skeered uh no Jim. Ah got tuh git back tuh de white folks an Ahm skeered tuh go round dat lake at night by myself. (Enter Jim from store and stands in door with box of shells in his hand)
JIM No girl look like you don't have to go home by yo' self, if it was midnight.
DAVE
(Gun in hand and ready to exit) Naw, cause Ahm right here—
JIM Daisy don't you trust yo'self round dat lake after dark, wid dat (points at Dave) breath and—britches. You needs uh real man to perteck you from dem 'gators and moccasins.
DAVE
Let somethin happen and she'll find out who got rabbit blood and who
aint. Well, Ahm gone. (He steps down off the steps but looks back at
Daisy).
JIM Ahm goin too—git you uh great big ole turkey-rooster. (Dave takes a step or two towards left exit).
DAISY Jim, aint you gointer knock off a li'l tune fo' you go? Ahm lonesome for some music.
(Dave stops in his tracks and looks wistful. Jim sets down the shells on the bench and picks up his box with a swagger and tunes a bit.)
WALTER
Georgy Buck!
JIM (Plays the air thru once then starts to sing. Dave leans his gun against the fence and stands there.)
1.
Georgy Buck is dead, last word he said
I don't want no shortenin in my bread.
2.
Rabbit on de log—Aint got no dog
How am I goin git him, God knows.
(Dave walks on back near the step, and begins to buck a wing. Daisy comes down the step admiring both the playing and the dancing. All the men goin in singing and clapping)
3.
Rabbit on de log—aint got no dog
Shoot him wid my rifle, bam! bam!
4.
Oh Georgie Buck is dead, last word he said
Never let a woman have her way
(The tempo rises. As Dave does a good break he brings up directly in front of Daisy. He grabs her and swings her into a slow drag. The porch cheers. Jim stops abruptly. (Enter two women, right and hurry up to the porch)
1st WOMAN (LULU) Don't stop, Jim! Hit dat box a couple mo' licks so some of dese men kin scorch us in de store and treat us.
JIM
Aw, I dont feel lak no playin.
DAVE (Grinning triumphantly) Ahm gone dis time to git dat turkey. Daisy run tell yo' ma to put on de hot water kittle (He exits left with gun on shoulder)
DAISY
Oh lemme see if I got a letter in de postoffice (She exits into store)
JIM
He better git for home fore ah bust dis box over his head.
2nd WOMAN (Jenny)
(Grabbing Lige) Aw, don't worry bout Dave Carter. Play us some music
so I kin make Lige buy me some soda water. (She is playfully dragging
Lige towards the door). Jenny you grab Walter.
(Walter makes a break to jump off the porch and run. The woman catches him and there is a very gay bit of tussling as the men are dragged towards the door)
1st WOMAN (Miss Lulu) I bet if this was Daisy, they'd uh done halted inside and toted out half de store.
JENNY Yeah. (gets Walter to the door) Everything you hear is Daisy, Daisy, Daisy! Just cause she got a walk on her like she done gone crazy thru de hips! (Yanks Walter into the door) Yeah, y'all goin treat us. Come on!
WALTER
Yeah, but Daisy's uh young pullet and you gittin gray headed.
JENNY Thank God I aint gray elsewhere! Come right on. You gointer buy me some soda water nigger. (to Jim) Play us some music, Jim, so we kin grand march up to de counter.
JIM I can't play nothin—mad as I is. I'm one minute to boilin and two minutes to steam. I smell blood!
MISS LULU
You don't want to fight, do you?
JIM
Sho do. You aint never seen a Weston yet dat wouldn't fight, have you?
LIGE Thats whut they all got run outa town for—fightin. (Calls into store) Hey, Joe, give Jenny and Lulu some soda water and ground peas on me so they'll turn us loose. (to Jim) Yeah, y'all Westons blieves in fightin.
JIM Ahd ruther get run out for fightin than to be uh coward. (He slings the guitar round his neck an' picks up his box of shells.) Well, Ah reckon Ah'll go git Daisy her turkey cause she sho wont git none less Ah go git it. Here come Elder Simms anyhow now taint no mo' pickin de box. (to Daisy) Don't git lonesome whilst Ahm gone.
(Enter Daisy from the store smiling, and walks down to where Jim is standing)
DAISY
Whuts all dis talk about fightin?
JIM Lige throwin it up to me bout all my folks been run outa town for fightin. But I don't keer!
DAISY Mah mouf done got lonesome already. Buy me some chewing gum to keep mah mouf comp'ny till y'all gits back wid dat turkey.
JIM
Don't hafta buy none. (reaches in his pocket and pulls out a stick)
What it takes tuh satisfy de ladies, Ah totes it. (He hands her the
gum tenderly) 'By, Daisy. (He walks to left exit)
DAISY
(Coyly) Bye, till you come back.
(Enter Elder Simms right)
Good evenin' everybody.
ALL
Good evenin', Elder Sims.
LUM (Getting up from his seat on the porch) Have mah seat, Elder. Sims takes it with a sigh of pleasure. Lum steps off the porch and sets his hat over one eye) Say, Daisy, you aint goin to sprain yo' lil mouf on dat tough chewin gum, is yuh? Not wid de help you got. Better lemme kinda tender dat gum up for yuh so yo' lil mouf won't hafta strain wid it. (He places himself exactly in front of her. She glances up coyly at him)
DAISY Ain't you crazy, now? (Lum tries to snatch the gum but she pops it into her mouth and laughs as he seizes her hands.
LUM You don't need no gum to keep yo' mouf company wid me around. Ahm all de compny yo' mouf need. Ahm sweet papa chewin and sweetness change.
DAISY Tell dat to Bootsie Pitts, you cant fool me. (turns right) Guess Ah better go home and see mama. Ah ain't been round since Ah come from de white folk. You goin walk round there wid me?
LUM Naw, Ah aint gointer walk. When Ahm wid de angels ah puts on mah hosanna wings and flies round heben lak de rest. (He falls in beside her and catches her elbow) Less go! (to the porch) See you later and tell you straighter.
LINDSAY Don't stay round to Daisy's too long, Lum, and get run out from under yo' hat!
LUM
Who run?
HAMBO
Taint no use in you hollerin "who". Yo' feet don't fit no limb.
(General laughter) (Exit Lum and Daisy right)
WALTER Lawd! Daisy sho is propaganda. She really handles a lot of traffic. Ah don't blame de boys. If Ah was uh single man Ah'd be round there myself.
LIGE Ahm willin tuh serve some time on her gang as it is, but mah wife won't lissen to reason. (Laughter) Ah tries to show her dis deep point where taint right for one woman to be harboring uh whole man all to herself when theres heaps uh po' young girls aint got no husband atall. But Ah just can't sense her into it.
(Laughter)
HAMBO Now take Jim and Dave for instant. Here they is, old friends, done fell out and ready to fight—all over Daisy.
WALTER Thass me all over. I don't want no partnership when it comes to my women. Its whole hawg uh none. Lawd, what wimmen makes us do!
LINDSAY What is it dey don't make us do. Now take for instant Jim Weston. He know he can't hunt wid Dave—Dave is uh sworn marksman, but jes' so as not to be outdone here he go trying to shoot turkeys—wild turkeys mind you, 'ginst Dave.
JOE CLARKE I God, I hope he finds 'em too. If he get to killin turkeys maybe he'll stay way from my hen house. I God, I done lost nine uh my best layin' hens in three weeks.
(General Laughter)
WALTER
Did Jim git em?
CLARKE I ain't personatin' nobody but I been told dat Jim's got uh powerful lot uh chicken feathers buried in his back yard. I know one thing if I ever ketch his toe-nails in my chicken yard, I God, he's gointer follow his pappy and his four brothers. He's got to git from dis town of mine.
(Enter a little girl right, very neat and starchy. She runs up to Rev.
Sims.)
GIRL Papa, mama say send her dat witch hazely oil she sent you after right quick.
LINDSAY
Whuss matter wid Sister Sims—poly today?
SIMS She don't keep so well since we been here, but I reckon she's on de mend.
HAMBO
Don't look like she never would be sick. She look so big and portly.
CLARKE Size don't mean nothin'. My wife is portly and she be's on de sick list all de time. It's "Jody, pain in de belly all day. Jody, pain in de back all night.
LIGE Besides, Mrs. Simms ain't very large. She wouldn't weigh more'n two hundred. You ain't seen no big woman. I seen one so big she went to whip her lil boy an' he run up under her belly and stayed up under dere for six months.
(General laughter)
WALTER You seen de biggest ones. But I seen uh woman so little till she could go out in uh shower uh rain and run between de drops. She had tuh git up on uh box tuh look over uh grain uh sand.
SIMMS Y'all boys better read yo' Bibles 'stead of studyin foolishness. (He gets up and starts into the store. Clarke and the little girl follow him.) Reckon Ah better git dat medicine. (The three exit into store)
HAMBO Well, y'all done seen so much—be y'all ain't never seen uh snake big as de one Ah seen down round Kissimnee. He was so big he couldn't hardly move his self. He laid in one spot so long he growed moss on him and everybody thought he was uh log layin' there; till one day Ah set down on him and went to sleep. When Ah woke up ah wuz in Middle Georgy.
(General laughter. Two women enter left and go in store after everybody has spoken to them)
LINDSAY Layin' all sides to jokes now, y'all remember dat rattlesnake Ah kilt on Lake Hope was 'most big as dat one.
WALTER
(Nudgin' Lige and winking at the crowd) How big did you say it was, Joe?
LINDSAY He mought not uh been quite as big as dat one—but jes' bout fourteen feet.
HAMBO Gimme dat lyin' snake! He wasn't but fo' foot long when you kilt him and here you done growed him ten feet after he's dead.
(Enter Simms followed by the girl with an all day sucker. Simms has a small package in his hand.
SIMMS
(Gives the package to the child and resumes his seat.)
Run 'long home now. Tell yo' ma to put on uh pot uh peas.
(Child exits right trotting and sucking her candy.)
WALTER They's some powerful big snakes round here. We was choppin' down de weeds in front of our parsonage yistiddy and kilt uh great big ol' cotton mouf moccasin.
SIMMS Yeah, look like me or some of my fambly 'bout to git snake-bit right at our own front do'.
LIGE
An' bit by uh Baptist snake at dat.
LINDSAY
How you make him out uh Baptist snake?
LIGE
Nobody don't love water lak uh Baptist an' uh Moccasin.
(General laughter)
HAMBO
An' nobody don't hate it lak de devil, uh rattlesnake an uh Meth'dis.
(General laughter. Enter Joe Clark from store. Stands in door)
SIMMS Dis town needs uh cleanin' in more ways than one. Now if this town was run right, when folks misbehaves, they oughter be locked up in jail and if they can't pay no fine, they oughter be made to work it out on de streets—chopping weeds.
LINDSAY
How we gointer do all dat when we ain't got no jail?
SIMMS Well, you orta have uh jail. Y'all needs uh whole heap of improvements in dis town. Ah ain't never pastored no town so way back as this one here.
CLARKE
(Stepping out before Simms) What improvements you figgers we needs?
SIMMS A whole heap. Now for one thing, we really does need uh jail, Brother Mayor. Taint no sense in runnin' people out of town that cuts up. We oughter have jails like other towns. Every town I ever pastored had uh jail.
CLARKE (Angrily) Now hold on uh minute, Simms! Don't you reckon uh man dat knows how to start uh town knows how to run it? You ain't been here long enough to find out who started dis town yet. (Very emphatic, beating of his palm with other fist) Do you know who started dis town? (Does not pause for an answer) Me! I started dis town. I went to de white folks and wid dis right hand I laid down two hundred dollars for de land and walked out and started dis town. I ain't like some folks—come here when grapes was ripe. I was here to cut new ground.
SIMMS
Well, tain't no sense in one man stayin' Mayor all de time, nohow.
CLARKE (Triumphantly) So dat de tree you barkin' up? Why, you ain't nothin' but uh trunk man. You can't be no mayor. I got roots here.
SIMMS
You ain't all de voters, tho, Brother Mayor.
CLARKE (Arrogantly) I don't hafta be. I God, it's my town and I kin be Mayor jes' as long as I want to. (Slaps his chest) I God, it was me dat put dis town on de map.
SIMMS What map you put it on, Brother Clarke? You musta misplaced it. I ain't seen it on no map.
CLARKE Tain't on no map, hunh? I God, everytime I go to Maitland de white folks calls me Mayor. Otherwise, Simms, I God, if you so dissatisfied wid de way I run dis town, just take yo' Bible and flat foots and git younder cross de woods.
SIMMS (Aggressively) Naw, Ah don't like it. You ack lack tain't nobody in de corporation but you? Now look. (Points at the street lamp) Tain't but one street light in town an' you got it in front of yo' place. We pays de taxes an' you got de lamp.
CLARKE
I God, nobody can't tell me how to run dis town. I 'lected myself and
I'm gonna run it to suit myself. (Looks all about) Where is dat
Marshall? He ain't lit de lamp?
WALTER
Scorched Daisy Blunt home and ain' got back.
CLARKE
I God, call him there, some of you boys.
(Lige steps to edge of porch left and calls "Lum! Lum!" Lum's voice at a distance: "What!" Lige: "Come on and light de lamp it gittin dark.")
SIMMS
Now, when I pastored in Ocala you oughter seen de lovely jail dey had.
HAMBO
Thass all right for white folks. We colored folks don't need no jail.
WALTER Aw, yes we do too. Elder Simms is right. We ain't a bit bottern white folks. (Enter the two women from the store.) You wimmen folks been in dat store uh mighty long time.
MRS. LULU
We been makin' our market.
HAMBO Looks mighty bad for some man's pocket. But y'all ain't had no treat on me. Go back and tell Mrs. Clark tuh give you some candy.
LINDSAY Have somethin' on me too. Money ain't no good lessen de women kin help you use it. (Hollers inside) Every lady in there take a treat on me.
MRS. JENNY
Ain't y'all comin' in tuh help us eat de treat. Come on, Elder Simms!
HAMBO (Getting up quickly. Lindsay and Joe Clarke also get up. They go inside laughing.) Here, lemme git hold of somebody. (Grabs one of the women by the arm as they exit into the store.)
LIGE (Pointing his thumb after the women) Ah wouldn't way lay nothin' lak dat. Too old even tuh chew peanuts if Ah was tuh buy it.
WALTER Preach it, Brother. But they's all right for mullet heads like Lindsay and Hambo. (Sings)
When they git old, when they [Note: corrected missing space.] git old
Old folks turns tuh monkeys
When they git old.
(Looks off right) Lawd! They must be havin' recess in heben! Look at dese lil ground angels! (Yells off right) Hello Big 'Oman, an' Teets and Bootsie! Hurry up! My money jumpin' up and down in my pocket lak uh mule in uh tin stable. (Enter three girls right, dressed in cool cotton dresses. They are all locked armed and giggling)
LIGE
Hello, folkses.
BOOTSIE (Coquettishly) Hello yo'self—Want uh piece uh corn bread look on de shelf. (Great burst of laughter from inside the store)
LIGE
(Catching Bootsie's arm) Lemme scorch y'all inside en' treat yuh.
BOOTSIE
(Looks at the other girls for confirmation) Not yet, after while.
WALTER
Well, come set on de piazza an' les' have some chat.
TEETS
We ain't got time. We come tuh git our mail out de postoffice.
LIGE Youse uh Got-dat-wrong! You come after Dave an' Jim an' Lum. But Daisy done treed de las' one of 'em. She got Jim and Dave out in de swamp where de mule was drugged out huntin' her uh turkey. An' she got Lum at her house. Thass how come de light ain't lit.
BIG 'OMAN
Oh, Ah ain't worried 'bout Lum. Ah b'lieve Ah kin straighten him out.
WALTER
Some wimmen kin git yo' man so he won't stand uh straightenin'.
LIGE Don't come rollin' yo' eyes at me an' gittin' all mad cause y'all stuck on de boys and de boys is stuck on Daisy. (makes a sly face at Walter)
TEETS Who? Me? Nobody ain't studyin' 'bout ole Daisy. She come before me like a gnat in a whirlwind.
WALTER (in mock seriousness) Better stop dat talkin' 'bout Daisy, do I'll tell her whut you say. I think I better call her anyhow and see whether you gointer talk dat big talk to her face. (Makes a move as if to call Daisy)
LIGE (keeping up the raillery, grabs Walter) Don't do dat, Walter. We don't want no trouble round here. But sho nuff, [Note: corrected missing space.] girls, y'all ain't got no time wid Daisy. Know what Lum say? Says Daisy is a bucket flower—jes' made him to set up on de porch an' look pritty. I ast him how 'bout de rest an' he says "Oh de rest is yard flowers jes' plant them any which a way.
BOOTSIE
I don't b'lieve Lum said no sich uh thing.
LIGE You tellin' dat flat—Ah knows. (Looks off left) Here come Lum, now, in uh big hurry jus' lak he ain't been gone two hours.
BIG 'OMAN Less we all go git our treat! (They start up on the porch. At that moment Hambo, Lindsay, Clarke, Simms, and the two women enter from the store.)
CLARKE (to Lige) Looks here, I God! Ain't Lum lit dat lamp yet? (Enter Lum left hurriedly. Clarke stands akimbo glaring at him. Lum fumbles for a match, strikes it and drops it. Gets another from his pocket and goes to the lamp and strikes it.) Somebody reach de numbskull uh box. (Walter hands Lum a box of the porch and he gets up on it and opens the lamp to light it.)
LUM (to Clarke) Reckon Ah better put some oil in de lamp. Tain't much in it.
CLARKE (Impatiently) Oh, that'll do! That'll do. It'll be time tuh put it out befo' you git it lit, I God.
(Lum lights the lamp. The men have resumed their seats and the women are on the ground and near right exit. Walter and Lige and the three girls are at the door about to enter the store. Lum has the box in his hand and is still under the lamp. He walks slowly towards the step, box in hand. At the step he looks off left.)
LUM Here come Dave. (All look left. Walter and Lige and the girls abandon the idea of the treat and wait for Dave)
HAMBO
But ah ain't seen no turkey yet. Dat ole gobbler's too smart for Dave.
(Enter Dave with gun over his shoulder and holding his head. A little blood is on his shoulder. He pauses under the lamp a moment then comes to the step)
HAMBO Whuss de matter, Dave? Dat ole turkey gobbler done pecked you in de head? Whut kind of a huntsman is you?
(General laughter)
DAVE Naw, ain't no turkey pecked me. It's Jim. Ah wuz out in de woods and hand don squatted down before he got dere. Ah know jus' where dat ole gobbler roost at. Soon's he hit de limb an' squatted hisself, Ah let 'im have it. He flopped his wings an' tried to fly off but here he come tumblin' down right by dem ole mule bones. Jim, he was jus' comin' up when Ah fired. So when he seen dat turkey fallin', whut do he do? He fires off his gun an' make out he kilt dat turkey. Ah beat him tuh de bird and we got tuh tusslin'. He tries tuh make me give him mah turkey so's he kin run tuh Daisy an' make out he done kilt it. So we got tuh fightin' an' Ah wuz beatin' him too till he retched down an' got de hock bone uh dat mule an' lammed me over de head an' fore Ah could git up, he done took mah turkey an' went wid it. (to Clarke) Mist Clarke Ah wants tuh swear out uh warrant ginst Jim Weston. Ahm gointer law him outa dis town, too.
SIMMS
Dat wuz uh low-down caper, Jim, cut sho nuff.
CLARKE Sho its uh ugly caper tuh cut. Come on inside, Dave, an Ah'll make out de papers. He ain't goin' to carry on lak dat in my town.
(Exit Dave and Clarke into de store)
LINDSAY (Jokingly to Sims) See whut capers you Meth'dis niggers'll cut—lammin' folks over de head wid mule bones an' stealin' they turkeys.
SIMMS Oh you Baptist ain't uh lot better'n nobody else. You steals an' fights too.
LINDSAY (still bantering) Yeah, but we done kotched dis Meth'dis nigger an' we gointer run him right on outa town too. Jus' wait an' see. Yeah, boy. Dat Jim'll be uh gone gator 'fore tomorrow night.
WALTER Oh, I don't know whether he's gointer be gone or not. We Meth'dis got jus' as much say-so in dis town as anybody else.
LIGE Yeah. You Baptis run yo' mouf but you don't run de town. Furthermo' we ain't heard nothin' but Dave's lie. Better wait till we see Jim an' git de straight of dis thing.
HAMBO Will you lissen at dat? Dese half-washed Christians hates de truth lak uh bed-bug hates de light. God a' mighty! (rising) Ahm goin' in an' see to it dat de Mayor makes dem papers out right. (He exits angrily into the store. Simms and all the men rise too)
SIMMS Come on Walter, you an Lige. Less we go inside too. Dat po' boy got tuh git jestice. An' 'tween de Mayor an' dese Baptists he ain't got much chance. (They exit into the store)
1st WOMAN Come on you young gals, whut y'all wanta be hangin' round de store an' its way after black dark. Yo' mammies oughter take an frail de las' one of yuh! Come along! (The girls come downoff the porch and join the women. Loud angry voices inside the store)
2nd WOMAN
Lawd, lemme git home an' tell my husban' bout all dis. Umph! Umph!
(The women and girls exit as the men all emerge from the store. Lum
comes first with the warrant in his hand. Clarke emerges last.)
CLARKE Can't have all dat fuss an' racket in my store. All of you git outside dat wants tuh fight? (He begins to close up)
SIMMS
But Brother Mayor, I said it, an' I'll say it agin, tain't right—
CLARKE (turns angrily) I God, Clarke [Hand written correction: Simms], Ah don't keer whut you say. 'Taint worth uh hill uh beans nohow. Jim is gointer be 'rested for hittin' Dave an' takin' his turkey, an' if he's found guilty he's goin' way from here. Tain't no use uh you swellin' up neither. (to Lum) Go get him, Lum, an' lock 'im in my barn an' put dat turkey under arrest too. I God, de law is gointer be law in my town. (Exit Lum with an important air.)
WALTER
Where de trial gointer be, Brother Clarke, in de hall?
CLARKE Nope, it's too little. It'll hafta be in de Baptist Church. Ah reckon dat's de bigges' place in town. Three o'clock Monday evening. Now, y'all git on off my porch tuh fuss. Lige, outen dat lamp for Lum.
(The stage goes black. The crowd is dispersing slowly. Angry voices are heard. The curtain is descending slowly. Off-stage right the voice of Lum is heard calling Daisy.)
LUM
Oh Daisy! Daisy!
DAISY (at a distance) What you want, Lum?
LUM Tell yo' mama to put on de hot water kittle. I'll be round there before long.