De turkey and de law

by Zora Neale Hurston

Scene I

SETTING: Curtain goes up on a stretch of railroad track with a luxurious Florida forest on the backdrop. Entrances left and right. It is near sundown.

ACTION: When the curtain goes up there is no one on the stage, but there is a tremendous noise and hub-bub off stage right. There are yells of derision, shouts of anger. Part of the mob is trying to keep Jim in town and a part is driving him off. After a full minute of this, Jim enters with his guitar hanging around his neck and his coat over his shoulder. The sun is dropping low and red thru the forest. He is looking back angrily and shouting back at the mob. A small missile is thrown after him. Jim drops his coat and guitar and grabs up a piece of brick and threatens to throw it.

JIM (Running back the way he came and hurls the brick with all his might.) I'll kill some of youole box-ankled niggers—(grabs up another piece of brick) I'm out yo' ole town—now jus' some of you ole half-pint Baptists let yo' wooden God and Cornstalk Jesus fool you to hit me! (Threatens to throw. There are some frightened screams and the mob is heard running back.) I'm glad I'm out yo' ole town, anyhow. I ain't never comin' back no more, neither. You ole ugly-rump niggers done ruint de town anyhow.

(There is complete silence off stage. Jim walks a few steps then sits down on the railroad embankment facing the audience. Jim pulls off one shoe and pours the sand out. He holds the shoe in his hand a moment and looks wistfully back down the railroad track.)

JIM Lawd, folks sho is deceitful. (He puts on the shoe and looks back down the track again.) I never woulda thought people woulda acted lak dat. (Laces up the shoe) Specially Dave Carter, much as me an' him done proaged round together goin' in swimmin' and playin' ball an' serenadin' de girls an' de white folks.

(He sits there gloomily silent for a while, then looks behind him and picks up his guitar and begins to pick a tune. It is very sad. He trails off into "You may leave an' go to Halimuhfack." When he finishes he looks back at the sun and picks up his coat also.)

I never woulda thought people woulda acted lak dat. (laces up the shoe) Specially Dave Carter, much as me an' him done proaged round together, goin' in swimmin' and playin' ball an' serenadin' de girls an' de white folks. (He sits there gloomily silent for a while then looks behind him and picks up his guitar and beings to pick a tune. It is very sad. He trails off into "You may leave and go to Halimuhfack." When he finishes he looks back at the sun and picks up his coat also.) (He looks back again towards the village.) Reckon I better git on down de road an' git somewhere, Lawd knows where. (stops suddenly in his tracks and turns back towards the village and takes a step or two.) All dat mess and stink for nothin'. Dave knows good an' well I didn't mean to hurt him much. (He takes off his cap and scratches his head thoroughly, then turns again and starts on down the road towards left. Enter Daisy left walking briskly.)

DAISY
Hello, Jim.

JIM
Hello, Daisy.

(Embarrassed silence)

DAISY
I was just coming over town to see how you come out.

JIM You don't have to go way over there to find dat out—you and Dave done got me run outa town for nothin'.

DAISY
(Putting her hand on his arm) Dey didn't run you outa town, did dey?

JIM (Shaking her hand off) Whut you reckon I'm countin' Mr. Railroad's ties for—just to find out how many ties between here and Orlando?

DAISY
(Hand on his arm again) Dey cain't run you off like dat!

JIM Take yo' hands off me, Daisy! How come they can't run me off wid you and Dave an'—everybody gainst me?

DAISY I ain't opened my moff 'gainst you, Jim. I ain't said one word—I wasn't even at de old trial. My madame wouldn't let me git off. I wuz just comin' to see 'bout you now.

JIM Aw, go 'head on. You figgered I was gone too long to talk about. You was haulin' it over to town to see Dave—dat's whut was doin'—after gittin me all messed up.

DAISY
(Making as if to cry) I wasn't studying 'bout no Dave.

JIM (Hopefully) Aw, don't tell me. (Sings) Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, show me a woman that a man can trust.

(Daisy is crying now.)

JIM Whut you crying for? You know you love Dave. I'm yo' monkey-man. He always could do more wid you that I could.

DAISY
Naw, you ain't no monkey-man neither. I don't want you to leave town.
I didn't want y'all to be fightin' over me, nohow.

JIM Aw, rock on down de road wid dat stuff. A two-timing cloaker like you don't keer whut come off. Me and Dave been good friends ever since we was born till you had to go flouncing yourself around.

DAISY What did I do? All I did was to come over town to see you and git a mouf-ful of gum. Next thing I now y'all is fighting and carrying on.

JIM (stands silent for a while) Did you come over there Sat'day to see me sho nuff, sugar babe?

DAISY
Everybody could see dat but you.

JIM Just like I told you, Daisy. I'll say it before yo' face and behind yo' back. I could kiss you every day—just as regular as pig-bracks.

DAISY
And I tole you I could stand it too—justa s regular as you could.

JIM
(Catching her by the arm and pulling her down with him onto the rail)
Set, down here, Daisy. Less talk some chat. You want me sho
nuff—honest to God?

DAISY (coyly) 'Member whut I told you out on de lake last summer?

JIM
Sho nuff, Daisy?

(Daisy nods smilingly.)

JIM
(Sadly) But I got to go 'way. Whut we gointer to 'bout dat?

DAISY
Where you goin', Jim?

JIM
(Looking sadly down the track) God knows.

(Off stage from the same direction from which Jim entered comes the sound of whistling and tramping of feet on the ties.)

JIM (Brightening) Dat's Dave! (Frowning suspiciously) Wonder whut he doin' walking dis track? (Looks accusingly at Daisy) I bet he's goin' to yo' work-place.

DAISY
Whut for?

JIM He ain't goin' to see de madame—must be goin' to see you. (He starts to rise petulantly as Dave comes upon the scene. Daisy rises also.)

DAVE (Looks accusingly from one to the other) Whut y'all jumpin' up for? I….

JIM Whut you got to do wid us business? Tain't none of yo' business if we stand up, set down or fly like a skeeter hawk.

DAVE Who said I keered? Dis railroad belongs to de man—I kin walk it good as you, can't I?

JIM (Laughing exultantly) Oh yeah, Mr. Do-Dirty! You figgered you had done run me on off so you could git Daisy all by yo'self. You was headin' right for her work-place.

DAVE
I wasn't no such a thing.

JIM You was. Didn't I lear you coming down de track all whistling and everything?

DAVE
Youse a big old Georgy-something-ain't-so! I done got my belly full of
Daisy Sat'day night. She can't snore in my ear no more.

DAISY (Indignantly) Whut you come here low-rating me for, Dave Carter? I ain't done nothin' to you but treat you white. Who come rubbed yo' ole head for you yestiddy if it wasn't me?

DAVE Yeah, you rubbed my head all right, and I lakted dat. But everybody say you done toted a pan to Joe Clark's barn for Jim before I seen you.

DAISY Think I was going to let Jim there thout nothing fitten for a dog to eat?

DAVE That's all right, Daisy. If you want to pay Jim for r knockin' me in de head, all right. But I'm a man in a class—in a class to myself and nobody knows my name.

JIM (Snatching Daisy around to face him) Was you over to Dave's house yestiddy rubbing his ole head and cloaking wid him to run me outa town—and me locked up in dat barn wid de cows and mules?

DAISY (Sobbing) All both of y'all hollerin' at me an' fussin' me just cause I tries to be nice—and neither one of y'all don't keer nothin' bout me.

(Both boys glare at each other over Daisy's head and both try to hug her at the same time. She violently wrenches herself away from both and makes as if to move on.)

Leave me go! Take yo' rusty pams offen me. I'm going on back to my work-place. I just got off to see bout y'all and look how y'all treat me.

JIM Wait a minute, Daisy. I love you like God loves Gabriel—and dat's His best angel.

DAVE Daisy, I love you harder than detthunder can bump a stump—if I don't—God's a gopher.

DAISY
(Brightening) Dat's de first time you ever said so.

DAVE and JIM
Who?

JIM
Whut you hollering "who" for? Yo' foot don't fit no limb.

DAVE Speak when you spoken to—come when you called, next fall you'll be my coon houn' dog.

JIM Table dat discussion. (Turning to Daisy) You ain't never give me no chance to talk wid you right.

DAVE You made me feel like you was trying to put de Ned book on me all de time. Do you love me sho nuff, Daisy?

DAISY (Blooming again into coquetry) Aw, y'all better stop dat. You know you don't mean it.

DAVE
Who don't mean it? Lemme tell you something, mama, if you was mine I
wouldn't have you counting no ties wid yo' pretty lil toes. Know whut
I'd do?

DAISY
(Coyly) Naw, whut would you do?

DAVE
I'd buy a whole passenger train and hire some mens to run it for you.

DAISY
(Happily) Oo-ooh, Dave.

JIM (to Dave)

De wind may blow, de door may slam
Dat whut you shootin' ain't worth a dam.

(to Daisy) I'd buy you a great big ole ship—and then baby, I'd buy you a ocean to[Note: corrected missing space] sail yo' ship on.

DAISY
(Happily) Oo-ooh, Jim.

DAVE (to Jim)

A long train, a short caboose
Dat lie whut you shootin', ain't no use.

(to Daisy) Miss Daisy, know what I'd do for you?

DAISY
Naw, whut?

DAVE
I'd like uh job cleanin out de Atlantic Ocean jus for you.

DAISY
Don't fool me now, papa.

DAVE I couldn't fool you, Daisy, cause anything I say bout lovin' you, I don't keer how big it is, it wouldn't be half de truth. Y

DAVE
I'd come down de river riding a mud cat and leading a minnow.

DAISY
Lawd, Dave, you sho is propaganda.

JIM (Peevishly) Naw he ain't—he's just lying—he's a noble liar. Know whut I'd do if you was mine?

DAISY
Naw, Jim.

JIM
I'd make a panther wash yo' dishes and a 'gator chop yo' wood for you.

DAVE Daisy, how come you [Note: corrected missing space] let Jim lie lak dat? He's as big a liar as he is a [Note: corrected missing space] man. But sho nuff now, laying all sides to jokes, Jim, there don't even know how to answer you. If you don't b'lieve it, ast him something.

DAISY (to Jim) You like me much, Jim?

JIM
(Enthusiastically) Yeah, Daisy, I sho do.

DAVE (Triumphant) See dat! I tole you he didn't know how to answer nobocy like you. If he was talking to some of them ol' funny looking gals over town he'd be answering 'em just right. But he got to learn how to answer you. Now you ast me something and see how I answer you.

DAISY
Do you like me, Dave?

DAVE (Very properly in a falsetto voice) Yes ma'am! Dat's de way to answer swell folks like you. Furthermore, less we prove which one [Note: corrected missing space] of us love you de best right now. (To Jim) Jim, how much time owuld you do on de chain-gang for dis 'oman?

JIM
Twenty years and like it.

DAVE See dat, Daisy? Dat nigger ain't willing to do no time for you. I'd beg de judge to gimme life. (Both Jim and Dave laugh)

DAISY Y'all doin' all dis bookooing out here on de railroad track but I bet y'all crazy 'bout Bootsie and Teets and a whole heap of others.

JIM Cross my feet and hope to die! I'd ruther see all de other wimmenfolks in de world dead than for[Note: corrected missing space] you to have de tooth-ache.

DAVE If I was dead any any other woman come near my coffin de undertaker would have to do his job all over—cause I'd git right up and walk off. Furthermore, Miss Daisy, ma'am, also m'am, which would you ruther be a lark a flying or a dove a settin'—ma'am also ma'am?

DAISY
'Course I'd ruther be a dove.

JIM
Miss Daisy, ma'am, also ma'am—if you marry dis nigger over my head,
I'm going to git me a green hickory club and season it over yo' head.

DAVE
Don't you be skeered, baby—papa kin take keer a you. (to Jim)
Counting from de finger (suiting the action to the word) back to the
thumb—start anything I got you some.

JIM
Aw, I don't want no more fight wid you, Dave.

DAVE Who said anything about fighting? We just provin' who love Daisy de best. (to Daisy) Now, which one of us you think love you de best?

DAISY
Deed I don't know, Dave.

DAVE
Baby, I'd walk de water for you—and tote a mountain on my head while
I'm walkin'.

JIM Know whut I'd do, honey babe? If you was a thousand miles from home and you didn't have no ready-made money and you had to walk all de way, walkin' till yo' feet start to rolling, just like a wheel, and I was riding way up in de sky, I'd step backwards offa dat airyplane just to walk home wid you.

DAISY (Falling on Jim's neck) Jim, when you talk to me like dat I just can't stand it. Less us git married right now.

JIM
Now you talkin' like a blue-back speller. Less go!

DAVE
(Sadly) You gointer leave me lak dis, Daisy?

DAISY (Sadly) I likes you, too, Dave, I sho do. But I can't marry both of y'all at de same time.

JIM
Aw, come on, Daisy—sun's gettin' low. (He starts off pulling Daisy.)

DAVE
Whut's I'm gointer do? (Walking after them)

JIM Gwan back and hunt turkeys—you make out you so touchous nobody can't tell you yo' eye is black thout you got to run git de law.

DAVE
(Almost tearfully) Aw Jim, shucks! Where y'all going?

(Daisy comes to an abrupt halt and stops Jim)

DAISY
That's right, Honey. Where is we goin' sho nuff?

JIM (Sadly) Deed I don't know, baby. They just sentenced [Note: corrected missing space] me to go—they didn't say where and I don't know.

DAISY How we goin' know how to go when [Note: corrected missing space] we don't know where we goin'?

(Jim looks at Dave as if he expects some help but Dave stands sadly silent. Jim takes a few steps forward as if to go on. Daisy makes a step or two, unwillingly, then looks behind her and stops. Dave looks as if he will follow them.)

DAISY Jim! (He stops and turns) Wait a minute! Whut we gointer do when we git there?

JIM
Where?

DAISY
Where we goin'?

JIM
I done tole you I don't know where it is.

DAISY
But how we gointer git something to eat and a place to stay?

JIM
Play my box for de white folks and dance just like I been doing.

DAISY
You can't take keer of me on dat, not where we hafta pay rent.

JIM (Looks appealingly at Dave, then away quickly) Well, I can't help dat, can I?

DAISY (Brightly) I tell you whut, Jim! Less us don't go nowhere. They sentenced you to leave Eatonville and youse almost a mile from de city limits already. Youse in Maitland now. Supposin' you come live on de white folks' place wid me after we git married. Eatonville ain't got nothin' to do wid you livin' in Maitland.

JIM
Dat's a good idea, Daisy.

DAISY (Jumping into his arms) And lissen, honey, you don't have to be beholden to nobody. You can throw dat ole box away if you want to. I know where you can get a swell job.

JIM
(Sheepishly) Doin' whut? (Looks lovingly at his guitar)

DAISY (Almost dancing) Yard man. All you have to do is wash windows, and sweep de sidewalk, and scrub off de steps and porch and hoe up de weeds and rake up de leaves and dig a few holes now and then with a spade—to plant some trees and things like that. It's a good steady job.

JIM (After a long deliberation) You see, Daisy, de mayor and corporation told me to go on off and I oughter go.

DAISY
Well, I'm not going tippin' down no railroad track like a Maltese cat.
I wasn't brought up knockin' round from here to yonder.

JIM Well, I wasn't brought up wid no spade in my hand—and ain't going to start it now.

DAISY But sweetheart, we got to live, ain't we? We got to git hold of money before we kin do anything. I don't mean to stay in de white folks' kitchen all my days.

JIM Yeah, all dat's true, but you couldn't buy a flea a waltzing jacket wid de money I'm going to make wid a hoe and spade.

DAISY
(Getting tearful) You don't want me. You don't love me.

JIM Yes, I do, darling, I love you. Youse de one letting a spade come between us. (He caresses her.) I loves you and you only. You don't see me dragging a whole gang of farming tools into us business, do you?

DAISY (stiffly) Well, I ain't going to marry no man that ain't going to work and take care of me.

JIM I don't mind working if de job ain't too heavy for me. I ain't going to bother wid nothin' in my hands heavier than dis box—and I totes it round my neck 'most of de time. I kin go out and hunt you some game when times gits tight.

DAISY Don't strain yo'self huntin' nothin' for me. I ain't goin' to eat nobody's settin' hen. (She turns to DAVE finally.)

JIM
Whut ole sittin hen? Ain't you and Lum done et up de turkey
I—I—bought?

DAISY You might of brought it, but Dave sho kilt it. You couldn't hit de side of uh barn wid uh bass fiddle.

DAVE
Course I kilt it, and I kilt it for you, but I didn't kill none for
Lum Boger. De clean head hound!

(Daisy turns to Dave finally)

DAISY Well, I reckon you loves me the best anyhow. You wouldn't talk to me like Jim did, would you, Dave?

DAVE
Naw, I wouldn't say whut he said a-tall.

DAISY
(Cuddling up to him) Whut would you say, honey?

DAVE I'd say dat box was too heavy for me to fool wid. I wouldn't tote nothing my gun and my hat and I feel like I'm 'busing myself sometie totin' dat.

DAISY
(Outraged) Don't you mean to work none?

DAVE
Wouldn't hit a lick at a snake.

DAISY I don't blame you, Dave (looks down at his feet) cause toting dem feet of yourn is enough to break down your constitution.

DAVE They carries me wherever I wants to go. Daisy, you marry Jim cause I don't want to come between y'all. He's my buddy.

JIM Come to think of it, Dave, she was yourn first. You take and handle dat spade for her.

DAVE You heard her say it is all I can do to lift up dese feets and put 'em down. Where I'm going to git any time to wrassle wid any hoes and shovels? You kin git round better'n me. You done won Daisy—I give in. I ain't going to bite no friend of mine in de back.

DAISY Both of you niggers can git yo' hat en' yo' heads an' git on down de road. Neither one of y'all don't have to have me. I got a good job and plenty men begging for yo' chance.

JIM Dat's right, Daisy, you go git you one them mens whut don't mind smelling mules—and beating de white folks to de barn every morning. I don't wanta be bothered wid nothin' but dis box.

DAVE And I can't strain wid nothin' but my feets and my gun. I kin git mo' turkey gobblers, but never no job.

(Daisy walks slowly away in the direction from which she came. Both watch her a little wistfully for a minute. The sun is setting.)

DAVE
Guess I better be gitin' on back—it's most dark. Where you goin, Jim?

JIM
I don't know, Dave. Down de road, I reckon.

DAVE
Whyncher come on back to town? Taint no use you proagin' up and down
[Note: corrected missing space] de railroad track when you got a home.

JIM
They done lawed me way from it for hittin' you wid dat bone.

DAVE Dat ain't nothin'. It was my head you hit. An' if I don't keer whut dem ole ugly-rump niggers got to do wid it?

JIM
They might not let me come in town.

DAVE (Seizing Jim's arm and facing him back toward the town.) They better! Look here, Jim, if they try to keep you out dat town we'll go out to dat swamp and git us a mule bone a piece and come back and boil dat stew down to a low gravy.

JIM
You mean dat Dave? (Dave nods his head eagerly.)

DAVE Us wasn't mad wid one 'nother nohow. Come on less go back to town. Dem mullet heads better leave me be, too. (Picks up a heavy stick) I wish Lum would come tellin' me bout de law when I got all dis law in my hands. An' de rest of dem 'gator-face jigs—if they ain't got a whole set of mule bones and a good determination they better not bring de mess up.

CURTAIN

End of Project Gutenberg's De Turkey and De Law, by Zora Neale Hurston