Jones (simply). I did.

Smith. Then why——

Jones. I mean I did tell you. The truth is they came in anonymously, and I thought they were more likely to be accepted if I said I had written them. (With great emotion.) Forgive me, chief, but it was for the paper's sake. (In matter-of-fact tones.) There were one or two peculiarities of style I had to alter. She had a way of——

Smith (sternly). How many cheques for them have you accepted for the paper's sake?

Jones. Eight. For a thousand pounds each.

Smith (with tears in his eyes). If your mother were to hear of this——

Jones (sadly). Ah, chief, I never had a mother.

Smith (slightly put out, but recovering himself quickly). What would your father say if——

Jones. Alas, I have no relations. I was a foundling.

Smith (nettled). In that case I shall certainly tell the master of your workhouse. To think that there should be a thief in this office.