NANCY (as though dinner were a small matter in that house). Oh, chops, bread and cheese and all that sort of thing. (Eagerly) But never mind dinner now—go on telling me.
BROXOPP. Nancy, look at me and tell me how many chops you have ordered?
[10]NANCY (bravely). I thought perhaps one would be enough for you, dear, as you weren’t very hungry, and not being hungry myself——
BROXOPP (jumping up). I thought so! The Great Broxopp to dine off one chop! The Great Broxopp’s wife to dine off no chops! (He leans against the wall in a magnificent manner, and with a tremendous flourish produces a five pound note) Woman, buy five hundred chops! (Producing another five pound note with an even greater air) Five hundred tons of fried potatoes! (Flourishing a third note) Five million bottles of tomato sauce! (Thumping his heart) That’s the sort of man I am.
NANCY. Jim! Have you earned all this?
BROXOPP (disparagingly). Tut! That’s nothing to what is coming.
NANCY. Fifteen pounds! (Suddenly remembering) Now what would you really like for dinner?
BROXOPP (going over to her and taking her hands). Nancy, you believed in me all the time. It has been weary waiting for you, but now—(answering her question) I think I should like a kiss.
NANCY (kissing him and staying very close). Of course I believed in you, my wonderful man. And now they’ll all believe in you. (After a pause) Who believed the fifteen pounds? Was it Mr. Spenlow?
BROXOPP. Spenlow? Bah! (He strides across the room and tears down the Spenlow advertisements.) Spenlow comes down—like his suspenders. Facilis descensus Spenlovi. (Dramatically) I see the man Spenlow begging his bread from door to door. I see his wife’s stockings falling in swathes about her ankles. I see——