A married man is more apt to labor for the good of all mankind, while a single man is apt to be more selfish in his aims and endeavors. The interests of a single man centre round himself, while those of a married man embrace his whole family, and in a larger degree the whole community.
Don’t Board.
If you are a newly-married couple, don’t board. Go to keeping house as soon as possible. Don’t get married if you can’t do this. A young woman ought to learn the duties and pleasures of housekeeping as soon after marriage as possible. If she boards out, she has little to occupy her time, and is apt to pass her days in reading silly novels, or to fall into that terrible habit of gossiping. She ought to find pleasure in working for her husband, and she can work for him best only in her own home, preparing his meals and by the performance of other wifely duties. As a mere boarder in somebody else’s home, she cannot do this. There are many drawbacks and perplexities about housekeeping, to be sure, but these ought to be met and contended with with a brave spirit. In the end, having conquered, it will be found that the pleasures far outweigh them. A woman ought to take pleasure in looking after the home nest, and ought not to leave to some unsympathetic boarding-housekeeper the task of preparing the daily meals for her husband.
The Mother-in-Law.
A mother-in-law is often a blessing, but few will admit the truth of this statement. Many men, however, have found her to be a ministering angel in disguise. It is better, nevertheless, for the newly-married couple to live by themselves, if possible, and not be under the sway of a mother-in-law, or other relative, however kind and unselfish she or they may be. They ought to strike out for themselves. A mother-in-law, however good her intention may be (and no doubt her intentions are always good), is pretty sure to prove meddlesome and dictatorial to a greater or less degree, and end by being an element of discord in what ought to be a happy home. You will find it better to paddle your own canoe, even if you do not make very rapid or easy progress at first.
Marriage a Lottery.
Marriage has been called a lottery. Fortunately it is a lottery in which there are a great many prizes. Let us give you this bit of advice in regard to marriage as a lottery: Try to think that you have drawn a prize. Thinking so will go a good way toward making the supposition a pleasant reality. Never lose sight of this fact. If your husband or wife does not come up to the high standard which you have hoped for, try to stifle the disappointment. It might be worse. Start out well on the sea of matrimony. “Many a marriage,” writes Frederika Bremer, “has commenced like the morning, red, and perished like a mushroom. Wherefore? Because the married pair neglected to be as agreeable to each other after their union as they were before it. Seek always to please each other; lavish not your love to-day; remember that marriage has a morrow, and again a morrow.” Another writer on the same subject wisely says: “The happiness of married life depends on a power of making small sacrifices with readiness and cheerfulness. Few persons are ever called upon to make great sacrifices or to confer great favors; but affection is kept alive, and happiness secured, by keeping up a constant warfare against little selfishness.”
Jealousy.
It is said that jealousy is an unmistakable sign of true love. We are supposed to be jealous of those whom we most dearly love. There may be some truth in this assertion, but we incline rather to think that it is open to dispute. Only the weakest are the most jealous. But the “green-eyed” monster has caused too much misery to treat the matter lightly. Where mutual love and respect and perfect confidence exist, and where the married parties are sensible, intellectual people, jealousy rarely exists. Jealousy, such as that which is said to be an infallible sign of true love, is exhibited chiefly by silly young women, married and single, who have no serious grounds for suspicion against the object toward which their jealousy is directed. If you are of an incurably jealous disposition, never marry any one of the opposite sex who is good looking. This will only add fuel to the fires of your jealousy. Marry a homely person—the homelier the better—one who is not likely to receive undesirable attentions from the opposite sex after marriage. But the best advice of all is don’t be jealous. Be sensible. Nine times out of ten you have no real cause for jealousy after all. To be jealous of your husband or wife implies that you have married a partner who cannot be trusted. Have you married such a person? Probably not. Then why be jealous?