Nearly related to the class just described, are those who marry under the impression that it is their Duty to form this connection with some one. Public opinion demands it, as a matter of course; their parents have always conducted, as if this was their view of the subject, and the daughter conscientiously believes that she must conform to it. Now, if what I have hitherto said is correct, there is no such thing as an unconditional obligation to marry. It is a duty only when circumstances favor it. If there be decided objections against the character of the one, or the many, who may have made overtures of marriage to a young lady, it has never yet become her duty to marry. On the contrary, she is solemnly bound still to remain single, to wait until Providence indicates to her a prospect of so changing her situation, as to enhance her usefulness and happiness.
Marriage is regarded too often as a Business transaction. It is entered upon for prudential reasons alone; the heart is not interested, nor, of course, given at the altar. In our country, where all things take the form of traffic, there is especial danger that the most sacred bond which man can form, will bear a mercantile aspect, by being rudely exposed in the market place. Let prudence have her office in this matter, but let it always be subordinate to a higher principle. Affection should prompt and impel; discretion ought only to act as a guide, a light, and counsellor, never as an originator and master, in matrimonial concerns. There is a wide chasm between imprudence and rashness in this transaction, and a Stoical sale of the hand, while the heart is kept back.
Some marry from Gratitude. They have received pecuniary aid from another; or they have been assisted by him in sickness; or he was their friend in their afflictions or troubles. But can they not express their gratitude otherwise than by marriage? If the single act, or few acts, of past favor, deserving though they be in themselves, constitute his sole claim to their hand and heart, let them be slow in the gift.
IX.
Conditions of True Marriage.
But one divine cement. “Marrying to increase Love.” Must be Free. Advice of Parents. A rare example. Good Disposition. Good Temper. Charity on Religious Opinions. Intelligence. Refined Taste. Good Health. Energy of Character. Similarity of Fortune; of Age. Early Marriages. View of them in Italy. Recommended by Dr. Franklin. Objections. Lady Blessington.
Before forming any connection in life, we should consider well its objects, and the means by which they promise to be accomplished, and then ask ourselves if these be placed within our particular reach. Now what is marriage? The union of two individual souls in one. This is its essence, that without which, it loses all claim to the sacred name it bears. But what will secure a union of souls between husband and wife?
There is but one divine cement, Love. No substitute can atone for its absence; no talisman can produce consequences that belong only to this holy principle.