“Assuredly they have got the Tone and the Tradition. Coelum non animum mutant—you have met with that, probably, in the ‘Encyclopædia Pananglica.’ Absolutely unimpaired, I assure you. We take great pains about that. Just an instance—the Visitor is the Bishop of Barchester, just as here with us: the local King wanted to be Visitor, but of course we couldn’t allow that. Imagine—a Visitor with fifty-three wives, not to mention! It wouldn’t have done at all: the Tone must have suffered. We are in constant communication (wireless, of course) with the Timbuctoo Branch: we are always being consulted. Only this morning we had to deal rather severely with an undergraduate member of the College—aboriginal, as many of them are—who insisted on playing the tom-tom in prohibited hours. Of course, we must back up the Dean, and in case of—emergency, we replace him and compensate his relations.”
“You speak, sir,” said the student of the Encyclopædia, “of a local King. I understood that the College was on British territory.”
“The British Empire,” replied the Tutor, “includes Hinterlands. This is a Hinterland. It is consequently from time to time the duty of the local college authorities to assist the British Resident at the Court of Timbuctoo in pulling down the French, German, Italian, Russian, and Portuguese flags, all of which have been occasionally erected. But the country is practically annexed. We are—ah—suzerains.”
“I understand, Professor, from your observation relative to the tom-tom,” put the American scholar, “that the students of your College are subjected to the regular British discipline? That would be kind of essential for me. Cecil J. Rhodes, the eminent philanthropist, was particularly anxious that I should have the full advantages of your fine old high-toned mediæval College rules. You have regulations, I presume?”
“The regulations,” replied the Don, “are framed (as exactly as possible in the circumstances) on the lines with which we are familiar in Oxford. It has not been advisable, so far, to establish the Proctorial system in its entirety throughout the capital of Timbuctoo; but within the walls of St. Boniface (or perhaps in strict truth I should say within the Zariba) the strictest discipline prevails.
Clothing is essential—if not worn, at least carried in the hand—for attendance in Hall and at lectures. Morning chapel is obligatory: conscientious objectors, if aborigines, may keep a private fetish in their rooms. Cannibalism is only permitted if directly authorized by the Dean, after a personal interview.”
This appeared to satisfy the Rhodes Scholar; his companion wished further to know whether residence in a Colonial College could be regarded as a step on the Educational Ladder. His friends, he said, had impressed upon him that his function in life was to climb the Educational Ladder.
“The ladder to which you refer,” explained the Tutor, “can be scaled as well in Africa as in England. In fact, better; there are distinctly greater facilities. In view of the regrettable inadequacy (at present) of any organized system of primary education in Timbuctoo, secondary education has been obliged to modify some of its standards. The University of Oxford, never backward in the march of progress, is prepared to make the requisite concessions; and, as a result, you will find that the highest honours are attainable without any acquaintance with the ordinary subjects of our curriculum. It is, I should say, the very place for you. Remember, too, that the very largest latitude is allowed—nay, encouraged—
in the choice of special subjects qualifying for the M.A. degree; and what a field you will find! The habits of residents—indeed, of some among your own fellow students—are most interesting to the student of Anthropology! while investigations among the flora and fauna of this country must be fraught with the most delightful potentialities. I confess, I envy you. I do not think I am saying too much if I assure you that this University will be ready and willing to confer upon you, not only the ordinary M.A. degree, but a Doctorate of Science or Letters!
“Then,” continued the Tutor, “as to recreations; neque semper arcum tendit Apollo—I beg your pardon, I mean to say that you cannot always be studying the domestic habits of the hippopotamus under a microscope. Sports and games you will find plentiful and interesting. There is head-hunting, for instance—”