“Do you ever go away and forget your crutch?”

When too late, he perceived how ridiculous the question was; but I gravely replied:

“Yes, I once went away and left it standing in the corner of a restaurant. I went several hundred yards before I missed it; and I then had a deuce of a time getting back to it.”

Another once thoughtfully asked:

“Now, suppose you had lost your left arm instead of your left leg, where would you have placed your crutch?” He never considered that in such a case it would not have been necessary for me to use a crutch at all.

“Then,” I replied, “I would have used the crutch under the right shoulder, and a cane in my left hand.”

Another idiot, one day, after having asked the usual questions and entertained me with the usual incidents, consolingly remarked:

“Well, you don’t have to pay so much for shoes.”

“I never pay any thing for shoes,” I replied.

“For boots then,” he suggested, with a complacent smile.