Oct. 2, 1878. Today I resume my pen again, with an earnest endeavor to record some of the mercies and blessings of God upon my poor soul. After I returned from camp-meeting, the Lord saw fit in his tender love to suffer affliction to befall me. Yea, "I was brought very low, but he helped me." I had bilious remittent fever and an attack of hemorrhage of the lungs. Friends and even a physician were much alarmed and felt my work was done. As soon as taken down, I ordered cards sent to the "little ones" at different places to pray for me. I put my case in the hands of the Lord and wished only his will. Dear Wife was kept in great tranquility of mind through an unwavering faith in God that he would raise me up again. My rest in God was so deep and perfect that I hardly knew anything of my physical condition. I thought myself but slightly ill, when others despaired of my life. For a few days I talked only in a whisper, and when I began to recover I was astonished to find myself reduced to a mere frame and unable to stand.
During my afflictions, the Lord not only kept my mind in perfect peace, but also taught me many precious lessons of my littleness and his exalted greatness. Oh! let us praise and magnify the name of the Lord. I saw myself but a speck of dust resting upon an invisible grain of sand. Oh, how the eye of God scrutinized my past life and showed me yet more than at the camp-meeting my weakness and unworthiness! Oh, how vile I had been in the sight of God! How many times Satan had succeeded in resurrecting some self in me! The Spirit has plainly shown me that I should never speak of having prayed for certain persons in connection with their conversion, etc. Oh! I am so ashamed of my folly and weakness in often relating such things. I thought I was doing it all to the glory of God, but now I can see that there was some self in it. O Lord! save me in the future from such presumption and sin. I thank thee for this affliction, for I know it is all for the good of my soul. Thou hast also shown me that I have boasted too much of my health and ascribed it too generally to my knowledge of and prudence in observing natural laws. O God forgive me of this offense. I thank thee that thou hast such a constant supervision over all thy works that every good must be ascribed to thee and thanks be given to thee just the same as if no means were used at all to convey them to us. Blessed God, let me sink down forever out of self. I cried unto thee and thou hast healed me. Thou hast brought up my soul from the grave. Thou hast kept me alive that I should not go down to the pit. Sing unto the Lord, O ye saints of his, and give thanks at the remembrance of his holiness!
3. I have had a desire to attend the Northern Indiana Eldership, which convenes tomorrow eve. But Wife and friends all intreated that I should not venture from home in my present weak condition, so this morning I went to my study to write a letter to that body; but before doing so I consulted the Lord, when he gave me a strong baptism of the Spirit to go and a strong assurance that he would abundantly support me and strengthen me. I said: Lord, I will go in thy name. I firmly declared my intentions. Wife began to take the matter to the Lord and soon felt resigned. Oft through the day as I thought of going the Spirit would come upon me, and I increased in strength with wonderful rapidity.
On the morning of the 4th he was conveyed to town to take the train. The weather was unfavorable and there was some rain, but he felt he was carrying out the Lord's purpose and the Lord sustained him. From Ada, Ohio, to Fort Wayne, Ind., he had the company of Bros. S. Rice and C. E. Rowley, two prominent holiness evangelists. He reached Silver Lake in the evening and was conveyed to Beaver Dam, the place of the Eldership meeting.
FOOTNOTES:
[7] His profession of holiness soon brought him to conflict with the leaders in the church. Speaking of the period of 1875–80, Dr. Forney says in his History of the Church of God: "During several of these years the Eldership was contending against inroads of heresies advocated by D. S. Warner. It had finally to resort to the old remedy of excision in order to prevent the spread of the disease and restore the body to good health."
[8] This trouble came up at the Eldership meeting the following September. "The Warner case was indirectly revived when the Committee on Resolutions adopted the following: 'That any minister of this body that may presume to preach the dogma of a second work for sanctification shall be deemed unsound in the theology of the Church of God, and should not hold an ecclesiastical relation as a minister in this Eldership.'"—From Dr. Forney's History of the Church of God.