Gone to a long eternity!"
One there was, the dearest of my earthly friends, who a year ago stood by my side, the joy of my life, the sweet, innocent object of my fervent love. But she is gone, that dear companion upon whose rosy cheek and harmless lips I used to impress the kiss of burning, never-dying love. O Tamzen! thy heart and life, as pure as the white and fleecy snow that this morning covers thy peaceful resting-place, has reared an everlasting monument in the hearts of all that knew thee on earth.
I have now seen thirty years pass into eternity. Not quite eight years have been devoted to God. The year has been one of God's goodness to me, notwithstanding the loss of my blessed wife, which is her gain and God's glory, and therefore I am willing to travel on a lone pilgrim in search of souls for Jesus' sake.
'Twas very stormy. Wrote and read. Preached from Psa. 90:9, "We spend our years as a tale that is told." Tried to show the folly of living in sin.
Jan, 1, 1873. This is the first day of the year. O my soul, set out afresh for heaven! Lord help me to spend the year all to thy glory if we live to the end. But if it is said of me, "This year thou shall die," may I be ready to enter into rest.
7. Preached from Rom. 6:1. Told my dream, the subject of which I thought was in the way of a score of souls.
8. Fasted today. Very solemn meeting at Brother Crim's. All wept for poor sinners. O Lord, hear the prayers and groans and bottle up the tears of thy children and bring thy salvation nigh! Preached from Heb. 2:3. The meeting has received a great backset. I fear the whole work is killed. Before I came here I had a peculiar dream in which I saw a face that was strange to me. There was much confusion in those features, as in the midst of a council it stood out conspicuous, and there was something in the position of the person that pierced my heart. Last night I announced that I had recognized these features since I came here. Mr. B., the infidel, arose and asked whether he were the man. I said no. Tonight Esq. K., a poor blind Lutheran, came to meeting, and before I closed he arose and enquired if he were the man. While I was talking, I was powerfully baptized by the Spirit of God and replied, "Thou art the man." He was daunted, but stammered out a denial; but before I had time to ask a question he confessed that he had forbidden his family to come out to the altar. They are five young men and one daughter, three of them were under deep conviction and others serious. One of the boys is married and his wife and all their associates were serious and some anxious to come out, but all were prevented from coming to Christ by this poor wretch, whose form of religion fitted him to do this work for the devil.
In this attack I realized the fulfilment of the promise of Christ. 'In that same hour it shall be given you what ye shall answer, for it shall not be you but the Spirit that speaketh.' I warned him of the fearful account he would have to give at the judgment-bar of God.
9. Meeting at Samuel Shell's. We were all cast down and felt the Spirit of God had been grieved out of the community. Eve, preached from Jer. 28:16. Gave a farewell address and closed the meeting because, first, the work was so stagnated that nothing could be expected to be accomplished without a longer effort than I could devote to the place and, second, because it was highly probable that as soon as the work should break out again Satan would stir up trouble again from some source. I gained many warm friends and sowed seed which I trust will bring fruit to God. Some of the young men that desired religion I think will not give up the struggle. They sent me some money and word that if I would hold a meeting somewhere in reach that they would attend and seek religion, but there they had not the heart to come out.