June 1, 1878. Came home today. Found family well. At the General Eldership I found that the leaven of full salvation was working. Had many private talks. Found some in the experience, but rather mute. Strengthened them. Many spoke of my articles in the Advocate and said they were seeking light. But the Eldership possesses little of the power of godliness. The first night it made me mourn for Jerusalem. Here were assembled the best elements of the whole church, and yet I could feel no God in her. There was no spirit of devotion, no communion with God. Pride and nearly every other manifestation of carnality were manifest. God save the Church. Thank God for the blessing of home and family. Dear Wife met me at the train.
9. Sabbath [at Findlay]. Awoke before day. Was much pressed in spirit for Brother Burchard. Arose early and had a gracious season of prayer. Was led out much for Brother B. At 10:30 A. M. heard him preach. A dreadful death reigned over the congregation. He spoke with a good deal of energy, according to his pathetic temperament, but he surely had not help by the Spirit. But I think he is honest, and if he had the cloud of prejudice removed from his mind he would want full salvation and would be useful. Oh, that God would lead him into the light!
Feeling that he should visit his father, in Williams County, he took train for Bryan, Ohio, on the 10th, arriving there late in the evening. The account of the death of his father and of the events that followed are here given.
June 11. Arose early. After devotion and my usual morning bath, I paid for lodging, went to the baker's and got a loaf of graham bread, and started on my way. Got to ride about five miles and footed the rest. Reached Father's about half-past ten. Found him very weak, and failing. He was overcome by emotion when I came in. His breathing is difficult. I soon sought a private room and poured out my heart for his salvation. Brother Joseph is staying with him all the time. Father can not last long. Oh that God would be pleased to have mercy upon his poor soul!
14. Father still failing.
15. Brother Lewis reached here about 5 P. M. Eve, went to the Cogswell Schoolhouse to hear Bro. Henry Barckley, but he having gone from home did not appear. I was asked to improve the time. After prayer I began to look to the Lord for a message, but nothing came to hand. Soon young Brother Wallace came in. He came by request to fill the appointment. He had only once before tried to preach. He was indisposed to go ahead; but I told him that I thought it was the order of the Lord. He consented. Did well enough, but needs the special unction of the Holy Ghost. I talked some.
16. Sabbath. L. W. Guiss came at four o'clock this morning. Father failing very fast this morning. At 10:30 A. M. met a congregation at the Cogswell Schoolhouse. Heb. 7:25. God blessed his precious word. Mr. Guiss, my brother-in-law, who has become a bold infidel, was much affected by God's truth. Some wept for clean hearts. I asked all who knew they were children of God to hold up their hands. A good number responded. I then asked all who could testify to perfect salvation from all sin to hold up their hands, but there was no response. But when I asked all who wished to be wholly the Lord's to hold up their hands, a number responded, some with tears. Time would not permit altar exercise.
Took dinner at Brother Joseph's and came back. Found Father declining very fast. Poor man, he is near his end, yet unsaved. O my God, must my poor father go into eternity bearing all the sins of his past life! Oh the death of an immortal soul! Since God has converted my soul and called me into the ministry, I have often seen Father's heart touched by divine truth and the Holy Spirit. Tears flowed freely, but he would not yield. When I began to preach, twelve years ago, I spent a summer at home, and he afterward told Mrs. Rang that my constant praying gave him much trouble and that he was glad I was gone. I marked the deep convictions that followed him all that summer and hoped he would soon be brought to God, but he wore them away. Two years ago this coming July my beloved mother passed away gloriously saved. She held his hand and exhorted him until he trembled. Not long after, I came home and spoke in the Dean Church, when he was greatly melted down. I gave an invitation to come to God, but again he refused Christ. Since his last illness, I have daily implored the mercy of God upon his poor soul. Since I have been with him I have talked to him about his soul, but do not see that he was awakened to his condition. I felt that all depended upon the blessed Holy Ghost to discover to him his sin and awful danger. He asked my prayers and songs of salvation. He shed tears over the wicked infidelity of G., my brother-in-law; but when he made any reference to his hope he based it all upon his principles of honesty and doing right and that he had favored a good many persons in his life, etc. He confessed some misgivings of conscience for not having been confirmed in the Lutheran Church as he had promised his parents he would when married; but said he, "I always felt some way that I could not get religion." When conscious of much distress he would wish he might die. Once he feared that he might have to lie a long time, and when on a certain occasion his throat seemed to be closed against food, he said, "I just believe that it is my doom to lie here and waste away; that there is nothing grown for me to eat any more." Frequently he expressed a strong desire to get well; but I never heard him say that if he did he would live a different life.
I went alone into the woods where so often I sought God and his grace when a young convert. I had a long and precious communion with God. Returned. Father is very rapidly approaching his end. He can not live through another night. Once while I was wetting his lips he looked very pitifully at me and said, "If you could only give me something that would make me well!"
O my God, how hard it is to close a life that was not given to thee! But it is appointed unto man once to die, and after this the judgment. Joseph feels this stroke very much. I thought it best not to go to the schoolhouse this eve.