Lottie rose with a brave spirit, though a heavy heart; she was resolved to seek comfort in a clear conscience toward man and a humble confidence in her God, however painful might be the struggle before her. Lottie did not sit down in idle sorrow, though she shrank from quitting her lodging; for wherever she went she would have to encounter suspicious looks and cruel taunts. The young maid read her chapter, and said her prayers with her brother, and after giving him his simple breakfast, set resolutely to work to prepare, as she said, for her parents’ return. The room was thoroughly washed and scrubbed—even the window-panes cleaned; and when the little place had been made the picture of neatness, Lottie turned to mending her brother’s garments, in which many a darn and many a patch showed the skill of her busy fingers. The most trying event of the day to Lottie was a second long interview with her pastor; but she again resisted the almost overpowering temptation to pour out her whole heart to him, and to tell him all that had happened. It was a satisfaction to find that Mr. Eardley had no suspicion of her honesty, notwithstanding the mystery regarding the money; and that Miss Gritton had never doubted that honesty for a moment. Lottie saw that the clergyman was now rather perplexed than displeased by her reserve; and when, with her honest eyes looking full into his, she assured him that if he knew all he would not blame her silence, it was a relief to the poor child to feel that he had not lost faith in her word.
Friday brought no tidings from Southampton. Lottie felt keenly “the sickening pang of hope deferred,” and she had now but little occupation wherewith to fill up the tedious hours. The day passed slowly and wearily, till it was time to start for the cottage-meeting. Glad was Lottie to leave Axe, though only for a space so brief; the cottage of Holdich was connected in her mind only with thoughts of holiness and peace, and she was thankful to be permitted still to kneel as a worshipper there.
CHAPTER XVI.
LECTURE V.—FAITH CONFIRMED.
The Lord is mindful of His own, He remembereth His people. He may, indeed, permit faith to be put to sharp trial, but His love supports His servant through it. If, as in the case of Gideon, God removeth earthly friends; if He take from us the prop of human aid, He can supply other props, and even from the enemy’s camp. When friends are silent, encouragement can come from the lips of a foe. A Balaam, eager to curse, has been made an instrument to bless.
Strong as was the faith of Gideon, we cannot wonder if a feeling of misgiving arose in his mind when he looked on the handful of men to which his force had been reduced. How was it possible that they should meet the shock of battle with the multitudes of Midian? They were brave and resolute men, they would follow him to the death; would it not be indeed to the death; had he not been selecting victims for slaughter rather than warriors for conquest? We must conclude that some such thoughts as these troubled the spirit of Gideon, from the very circumstance of God’s finding it needful thus to strengthen his faith: