Then in conclusion this falls also burthensom to her, (as it is generally with all things that are too frequently used) then she will be for spurring you up to walk abroad with her, that she may get all sorts of fruits and other fopperies that the season of the year affords; and at the first baiting-place she's for some Cream with sugar, stewd prunes, and a bottle of sider or perry; and thus abroad to spend much, and at home neglect more.
If she have then gone somthing far, she is so excessive weary with it, that if her life must ly at stake, she cannot set one foot further. Herewith is the poor man absolutely put to a stand: ride she may not, or all the fat would be in the fire; and they are so deep in the Country that there is somtimes neither Coach nor boat to be had.
And if you should happen to be where a River is, there's never a boat to be had; but if there should be one, then you must be subject to humour the churlish Ferry man, who seeing the necessity of the occasion, and that you are able to pay for it, will have what price he pleases. And somtimes again you are timorous your self to hazard it, because many women are very fearfull upon the water.
But indeed, if by this unhappy occasion, a good expedient may be found to please your dearly beloved, it is no small joy. Well then make your self jocund herewith, to the end that other troubles may not so much molest and disturb you.
You may also be very well assured, that your wife no sooner comes to be a little big-bellied, but she receives the priviledge to have all what she hath a mind to & that is called Longing. And what husband can be so stern or barbarous that he will deny his wife at such a time what she longs for? especially if it be a true love of a woman, you must never hinder her of her longing; for then certainly the child would have some hindrance by it.
Forasmuch then as is necessary that you alwaies seek to avoid and prevent this, you must observe, that all women when they are with child, do fall commonly from one longing to another: And then the providing and buying of that for them, must be as great a pleasure to you as it is to them in the receiving and use of it; and that not alone for theirs, but your childs sake also. And truly he that will or cannot suit himself to this humour, will be very unhappy, because he shall not then receive the full scope and freedom of this pleasure.
It is also most certain that these longing desires doth transport their imaginations from one finical thing to another: If it be in the summer, then they long for China Oranges, Sivil Lemmons, the largest Asparagus, Strawberries with wine and sugar, Cherries of all sorts, and in like manner of Plums, and these they must have their fill of: And then when they have gotten through the continuance their full satisfaction thereof; then be assured they begin to long for some great Peaches and Apricocks; And though they be never so scarce and dear, yet the woman must not lose her longing, for the child might get a blemish by it.
If then Apples and Pears begin to grow ripe, you have the same tune to sing again; for she is possessed with a new longing desire as bad, as if it were a Quotidian Ague in all the joints of her body; and whatsoever comes new to her sight, creates in her a fresh longing. If she gets one hour curious Catherine Pears, Pippins, or Russetings, the next she hath a mind to Filberds; and then an hour or two later Wall nuts and Grapes fall into her thoughts; do what you will there's no help for it, her longing must be satisfied, let it go as it will, or cost what it will.
And this her longing leads her from one thing to another, of all what the richness of the summer, or liberality of the harvest, out of their superfluities pour down upon us. Insomuch that the good man wishes a thousand times over that he might once be rid of these terrible charges and great expence.
But alas what helps it? there's no season of the year but gives us some or other new fruits that the women have alwaies a new longing desire to. And if it be in the Winter, then they long for juicy Pomgranates, new Wine upon the must, with Chesnuts; then for Colchester Oisters; then again for Pancakes and Fritters; and indeed for a thousand several sorts of such toys and fancies as do but appear before their longing imaginations. And oftentimes it is no real longing, for that were then pardonable, but a liquorish delicate desire that they are sick of; as may be seen by those who simply imagine themselves to be with child, are alwaies talking of this and t'other dainty that they long after. And that which is worst of all, is that both they and those that are really with child, long commonly for that which is scarcest and hardest to be gotten: Yea in the very middle of winter they oftentimes long to have a Greengoose or young Chickens; which in some places are very hard to be got, and not without paying excessive dear for them.