And yet this is but a small matter for them neither; for before a few months are past, the child begins to get teeth; and bawls and cries so night & day, that they can tell the clock all the night long; wishing a thousand thousand times over that they might see day-break; and so by the comfortable assistance of day-light receive a little solace for all their toiling and tumbling too and again.
Yet I would advise such as these, that they must in no manner be discomforted at this; if they intend to demonstrate that they have learnt somthing in the School of Marriage, to exercise their patiences: But, on the contrary, to shew themselves contented with all things; being assured, that hereafter when all this trouble is past, they shall receive the happiness, that the child will return them thanks with its pretty smiles; and in time also will salute them with a slabbering cocurring. And I beleeve now that they clearly find that all things do not go so even in this World, as they well imagined: And that the fairest Sunshine of Marriage, may be somtimes darkned with a Cloudy Storm.
You married people, that have the help of a Wet-Nurse, receive a much greater advantage in participating of the Pleasures of Marriage, neither need you to be troubled with tossing & dandling of the child in the night.
O, young House-Father, this is a most incomparable Pleasure for you! For now you may most certainly see the approach of a Daughter to your Son; and by that means reap the possession again of all those former Pleasures; & by every one be saluted with the Title that you are an excellent good Artist.
If it be so, be carefull that you do not gad up and down with your wife too much on horseback, or in Coaches; for fear it might make her miscarry. But you have learnt all these things well enough at the first, and without doubt have kept them well in remembrance.
Do but behold, in the mean time, what an unexpressible Pleasure your dearly Beloved hath in the tricking up of her sweet Baby in the most neatest dresses. What a World of pains she takes & spends her spirits, to make the Tailor understand, according to what fashion she will have it made; & to hasten him that all things may be ready and totally finisht against Sunday next.
O new Father, now open your eys! Behold what a pretty Son you have! How happy you are in so loving and understanding a Wife that knows how to trick it so curiously up in this manner! She was never better pleased! Undoubtedly the Summer nights are too long, and the daies too short for her to gad up and down traversing the streets of the City, that she may fullfill her desire of shewing it to every body: never was any thing more neatly drest. But the Nurse and the Maid with the Child in the mean while at Jericho; for their very backs and sides seem to be absolutely broken with carrying it up & down from day to day. And most especially when the Child is wean'd, and the Wet-Nurse turn'd away, the Maid cannot let it penetrate into her brain; that she now not only the whole week must rock, sing, dandle, dress, and walk abroad with it; but that she is upon Sundaies also bound to the Child, like a Dog to a halter; and never can stir out, as she formerly did, to walk abroad with Giles the Baker, or John True the Tailor; nor so much as go once to give a visit to her Country-folks or kindred; which occasions no small difference between the Maid and the Mistriss.
But good House Father, never trouble your self at it, for this belongs also to the Pleasures of Marriage; nor do not seem discontented because your Dearest walks abroad thus every day; but rather think with your self, she takes her spinning Wheel and reel along with her. And if in her absence, you have not that due attendance, nor find that in the house and Kitchin things are not so well taken care for, why then, you must imagine to be satisfied with th'assistance of the Semstress, or some such sort of person, as well as you were when you enjoied the Eighth Pleasure: You must also observe, that if the Child should sit much, it might get crooked legs, and then the sweet Babe were ruined for ever. It is also too weak yet to be any waies roughly handled; but it begins from day to day to grow stronger and stronger: Also with your Dearest carrying it abroad continually to visit all your friends and acquaintance, it learns by degrees to eat all things, and drinks not only Beer, but some Wine too. And I assure you it is no small Pleasure for the Father and Mother to see that this little young Gosling can so perfectly distinguish the tast of the Wine, from the tast of the Beer: tho when it is come to some elder years, perhaps they would give a hundred pound, if they could but wean it from it. But that's too far to be lookt into. And care too soon taken makes people quickly gray-headed.
Before you reach this length, yea perhaps before some few weeks are at an end; you will see this sweet Babe afflicted with either the Measels or small Pox; and then you'l wish for a good sum of mony that he might not be disfigured with them, in having many pock-holes. And it is no wonder, for who knows whether he may be past small-pocking and measeling when he is five & twenty years of age? But on the contrary there may then perchance appear so many glimps of marriage Pleasures from him, that such small things will not be once lookt at.
For if your Wife be now upon a new reckoning, and you come then, as I have told you before, to get a Daughter; you will in time see what a pretty sweet Gentlewoman she'l grow to be; how modestly & orderly she goes to learn to write and read; but most especially to prick samples; which perhaps she'l be wholly perfect in, before she hath half learnt to sow: nay its probable that she'l be an Artist at the making of Bone-lace, though she was never taught it.