THE WIFE: Not ironmongery, Doctor—the 'ardware: fine edge tools and joiners' necessaries, and so forth.
DOCTOR BRINK: But why object to this shorthand? After all, it keeps him out of mischief.
THE WIFE: It ain't the short'and I object to. It's him. Forever at home: forever makin' his scratches. Forever lookin' sulky and cleanin' 'is nails. Never a word to say to me, nor so much as a look for the child. 'E was 'armless enough when I married 'im. Full of life 'e was in them days. Many's the 'idin' 'e's give me!
DOCTOR BRINK: Cheer up! He'll get lively again one of these days, and give you another hiding. Even shorthand ceases to amuse people after a time.
THE WIFE: Short'and don't amuse 'im. It on'y makes 'im stupid. 'E don't wanter learn it, not reely: 'is 'ead ain't good enough for learnin'. 'E likes to make me wild, that's all. As for hidin's, it's 'im what gets the 'iding now: I don't believe in a girl takin' any o' that when you're married. Walkin' out it's different. Besides, I earned it then. I was a devil arter the boys in them days.
DOCTOR BRINK: Oh, well: you were only a young thing then, of course.... About this husband of yours; what is it you want me to do? I can't cure shorthand, you know.
THE WIFE: Well, Doctor, I don't see's there's anything you can do, reely. Only, I wish 'e'd go back to the chair-packin'. 'Ome ain't 'ome with your man always in it. And 'e's ser sulky and ser pertickler. 'E says we gotter go to church now that we've retired from work. We're goin' ter have our shop front painted red.
DOCTOR BRINK: I always look upon red as one of our leading colours. As you say, there is really nothing which I can do. Anyhow, we've had a useful little chat.
THE WIFE: I like a little chat. It's a thing I don't seem to get very orfen, nowadays. Me and my mother, we don't know each other. She says we killed 'is father. She says I don't manage my baby.
DOCTOR BRINK: I shouldn't argue with him. He'll get used to this money in time, and then he'll be as noisy as ever again.