"I bin drinking a lot o' water lately," continued the patient. "I thought I would give it a trial, Doctor, being Nature's beverage and what not, and so highly spoke of in the papers. But I come to the conclusion, Doctor, as it don't get on wiv my constitootion. I got a very peculiar constitootion, Doctor, and it is very much run down. Whenever I turn me eyes up, Doctor, a 'orrible sickly feeling comes over me."
"Turn 'em down then," said the doctor.
"You don't approve of all this water, then?" inquired the patient. "You think, per'aps, a pint or two of ale——"
"A pint or two of ale? Oh, certainly."
"Or stout, Doctor? Say stout and bitter. A couple o' pints o' stout and bitter, Doctor; what? To brace up me constitootion like. What?"
"Stout and bitter," pronounced the doctor, "has, in certain circumstances, a high tonic value."
"Thank you, Doctor. Would you be kind enough to put it in writin', Doctor? I'm a family man, ye see, and seein' as I shall be takin' this tonic for the good o' my constitootion, I thought per'aps—you see my meanin', Doctor?"
"Quite," said the doctor, reaching out for a half-sheet of notepaper. "Your name and address?"
"Skelp," responded the patient. "Samuel Skelp, of Peacock Street. My missus is one o' your oldest customers."
VIII