THE MOTHER'S TRADE UNION
"My motter," said 'Ost 'Uggins decisively, "is 'Live an' let live.' We won't deny but what the young woman 'as acted wrongful. She 'as broke an important commandment, as we all know, besides puttin' my 'ole establishment to expense and inconvenience. Besides upsettin' my good lady. Besides disgracin' 'er fambily.
"But at the same time I can't forget that my mother's father was 'isself a fondling. And we live in a Keristian age. And the one as is most to blame is the man, 'ooever 'e may be, the ugly 'ound. What'll you take, Doctor?"
"Ginger b——," began the doctor, having knowledge of the Mile End drink traffic. But he checked himself, yielding, I suppose, to the reflection that duty called for a more enthusiastic response to 'Ost 'Uggins's hospitality.
"I will have a glass of—of whatever you drink yourself," said the doctor.
'Ost 'Uggins favoured us with a heavy wink. His face and figure as he stood there behind the marble counter of his "saloon compartment" suggested coarseness and obesity and vulgarity and opulence and ignorance, and—and manhood.
They used to say that pigs could fly,
Oh, aye, oh!
They used to say that pigs could fly
A hundred years ago.
It is certain that this pig could fly. For "Live and let live" was his motto. The pig is an animal which is held in unwarrantable disdain by pious men.
Having concluded the wink, 'Ost 'Uggins inserted a ponderous hand into a nook concealed by a framed portrait of himself—it represented Mr. Huggins in the costume of an Arch Grand something or other of the Ancient and Vociferous Order of Somebodies—and produced therefrom a special, private, and particular bottle. This vessel, 'Ost 'Uggins was at pains to make clear, contained "real licker." He did not pour its precious golden drops into the muddy stream of commerce; but, on the contrary, he kept them tightly corked, and in strict reserve for the appreciative palates of his kindred and convives. "This is the real thing," said Mr. Huggins; "no sale for it yere."
"'Ere's to your 'ealth, Doctor," pursued 'Ost 'Uggins, "and to this young man's as well. And 'ere's wishin' that foolish young female well over 'er whack o' trouble. What's the missus 'ad to say to you to-day?"