Harry’s deep, kind voice: “I’m sorry too, old man. It rather jarred. Look here, this is all over. It’s just been a side-slip. I’ve forgotten it. So has your mother. You just think over sometimes what I’ve said, my boy. We’re fixing up this tutor’s for you. You start in fresh and go like steam. Finest thing in the world a fresh start. Makes a side-slip worth while. I’m going to be—I am—prouder of you than anything on earth. My eldest boy! Like steam from now, old chap, eh?”
Strike on!
After that interview and when the boy had left the room—shambled out of the room in that sullen, aggrieved air he would always assume under correction—after that she and Harry had talked, most fondly. It was all, the talk, that poignantly affecting “fresh start” business that he’d begun with Huggo. Poignantly affecting because Harry, piling upon his love for Huggo and his pride in Huggo, which she shared, his love for his old school and his pride in it, which she could understand but could not share, had been so bravely, cheerfully earnest and assured about the future. “One who never turned his back but marched breast forward.” The boy would be all right. Mice and Mumps, old lady, he’d be all right! It was just a mistake, just a side-slip. He’d got the right stuff in him, Huggo had, eh, old lady? They must just pull together to help the boy, eh?
He paused the tiniest space at that and pressed her hand and looked at her. She knew his meaning. If only....
He went on: This was a good place, this tutor’s down in Norfolk they were sending him to, Harry was sure it was. It was a pity, of course, he couldn’t go to another public school; but of course he couldn’t; they wouldn’t take him; no use worrying about that. This tutor, this man they were sending him to, was a first-class chap. Only took six pupils. Was a clergyman. Understood boys and youths who hadn’t quite held their own and wanted special coaching and attention. Huggo was keen on the idea. After all, why shouldn’t he have disliked Tidborough? There were such boys who didn’t like public-school life. There, there! Perhaps it was the best thing that could have happened. Bet your life this was going to be the making of old Huggo, this change. This tutor and the quiet, self-reliant life there, each chap with his own jolly little bed-sitting room, would prop him up and get him into Oxford when the time came and make him no end happy and splendid.
“There, there, old lady,” said Harry, and patted her and kissed her (she’d been affected). “There, there, it’s going to be fine. The rest is just up to us, eh? We know the boy’s weaknesses. We know what Hammond’s told us about him—home life and home influences and all that stuff, and that’s easy; we’ll see the boy gets that, won’t we?”
She used to wring her hands at that, and crying “If only!” cry again in desperation of excuse: “If only the war hadn’t come! If only the war hadn’t come!”
The war was on then. It was 1915. “You see,” she used to appeal to the arbitrament before which, watching these pictures, she found herself, “you see, the war made everything so difficult, so impossible, so frightful, so confused, so blinding. Sturgiss had left the Bank to do war service in the Treasury. More than half the clerks had gone. We were understaffed and badly staffed at every turn. How could I give it up then? I don’t say I would have. I’m on my knees. I’ve thrown in my hand. I’m not pretending anything or anyway trying to delude myself. I don’t say I would have given it up and come home to make home life for the boy and for them all. I don’t say I would. I’m only saying how infinitely harder, how impossibly harder, the war conditions made it. There was the understaffing—that alone. There was the cry about releasing a man for the front—that alone. I was releasing half a dozen men. Field said I was. I knew I was. How could I go back and be one of the women sitting at home? That alone! How could I? And there was more than that. It wasn’t only the understaffing. It was Sturgiss going. I’d been absorbing the banking business for years. It was meat and drink to me. I’d had a bent for it ever since the Bagehot ‘Lombard Street’ days. I’d nourished my bent. I’d been encouraged to nourish my bent. The work was just a passion with me. Sturgiss went. I went practically into his place. I’d a position in banking that no woman had ever held, nor no banker ever imagined a woman ever holding, before. It was Sturgiss, a partner, I’d released for war service. It was Sturgiss’s, a partner’s, place I’d got. How could I give that up? How could I? How could I? If only the war hadn’t come. If only....” Strike on!
It isn’t all going as it should with the boy at the tutor’s. But wasn’t it impossible to observe, at the time, that it wasn’t all going as it should? Of course (her thoughts would go) it was her fault; but was not the world, spiritual and material, in conspiracy against her, and against Huggo, and against her other darlings, to make easy her fault? Ah, that war, that war! Didn’t it unsettle everybody and everything? Naturally it unsettled the boy down at the tutor’s. Naturally one did not notice or foresee the trend of his unsettlement. Naturally it made plausible the excuses that he made.
There he is, down there at the tutor’s. He wanted to do war work, not sitting there grinding lessons. All the tutor’s pupils did. Naturally they did. The boy couldn’t go in the army. He was too young. He was in a rural district. He got doing land-work. They all did. It was supposed to be done in leisure hours. Naturally it encroached on, and unfitted for, work hours. “After all,” as the tutor wrote, “how can you blame the boys? After all, it’s very hard to seem to try to check this patriotic spirit.” After all! Oh, why do people say “after all” when they mean quite the contrary? This was before all, this seductive escape from uncongenial duties, precedent of all, influencing to all that happened—after all. Naturally it interfered with scholastic work. That was condoned. As naturally it interfered with discipline. That was not mentioned by the tutor. If he was cognisant of it was not domestic discipline everywhere relaxed “on account of the war”?