In von town vere I lectured dere vos only von liquor seller.
Now dere is six!
It is such driumphs as dis vich haf made me vot I used to be; de greatest terrible example of dem all.
De udder night at a social party, I met a young man mit de bloom of youth—fifty cents a bottle—on his cheek.
He vos de drunkest man I efer saw; in fact, he vos so drunk dot he dook me for a gentleman, and asked me vould I haf someding.
I said “No!”—I vas full already.
Den I dook him around to a lamp-post on de next plock und gave him taffy like a step-father.
“My friend,” I said, “you haf a mother?”
He replied dot dere vos a tradition to dot effect.