Ber. Mary Ann, I wasn’t brought up in Frinch. Did that horse car conductor that sint yez the boquet av peetoonias larn ye the articulation? Yez’ll be settin’ up a Vienna Bakery next.
Mary. Oh, you can’t tumble for a cent. Why don’t you get a new hat?
Ber. A new hat! What’s the matter wid this? [Takes off a battered stovepipe.] I’ve only worn it seventeen years. Next yez will be axin me to purchase a pair av low-necked shoes, and some giddy socks.
Mary. That hat looks as if it was called in. Get a gun and shoot it.
Ber. I’ll get a cannon and stab you. Bridget, is the corn beef and cabbage ripe?
Brid. Shure it is. Come take your sates at the table.
[Bridget puts eatables on the table, and all sit down. Bernard picks up a loaf of bread, bites it, and throws it at Bridget.
Brid. Bernard O’Rielly, are ye mad?
Ber. No, I’m insane. The next time ye buy bread, Bridget, see that it isn’t stuffed wid bricks. I’ve left three of me teeth in the loaf.