Pom. What’s dat?
Jim. Tell de bumps on de head.
Pom. No! but are you?
Jim. Yes, sir. Just you sit down and I’ll ’zamine you.
Pom. Bery well. [Sits in C.
Jim. All ready?
Pom. Yes.
[Recites the following lecture:
Jim. You know as the tree is bent so is the twig inclined. In de fus place, fustly, dis little nigga’s head am like a monkey’s, only de monkey’s head am much littler dan dis, and dis am as much biggerer dan de monkey’s, consequently dey must both be ob de same size. In de fust place, secondly, I’se gwan as far forward as de back part ob de head, dat dey call de frontal bone; ’tain’t because it is all bone—oh, no, ’tain’t that—but because it is as far from de mouf as de calf of de shin, and dat is why dey call it de frontal bone. Dar—dar, dar’s a bump; dat’s what dey call de bump of combativeness; under dat bump dere is a large bladder ob dandriff, and when de nigga gets a little ’zaggerated, de bladder splodes; de cold air rushes into de vacum, and de nigga gradually subsides into his former situation. Dar, dar’s anoder bump—oh, golly, what a big bump!—dat’s what dey call de bump ob music; any nigga dat has dat bump any way permanent or largely deweloped, can play any tune on de fiddle—dat is, if he know’d how to play it afore. And now I hope I’ve satisfied you dat I know something about dis science. For de present, Ecce sigmum, hoc vobis cum, quantum suff.
Pom. Well, you can suffer just as much as you please, but I won’t let you make me suffer; so just take dat!