From this short account of myself you may judge whether my manners and sentiments are not, by this time, in some degree formed.
But let us treat the subject abstractedly; and, as we have shown that under particular circumstances no disadvantages result from early marriages, let us see if any positive advantages attend them.
Happiness in the marriage state, you will agree with me, can only be obtained from the most complete congeniality of mind and disposition, and the most exact similarity of habits and pursuits; now, though their natures may generally resemble, no two persons can be entirely of the same mind and disposition, the same habits and pursuits, unless after the most intimate and early association; I say early, for it is in youth only the mind and disposition receive the complexion we would give them; it is then only that our habits are moulded or our pursuits directed as we please; as we advance in life they become fixed and unchangeable, and instead of our governing them, govern us. Is it not therefore better, upon every principle of happiness, that persons should marry young, when, directed by mutual friendship, each might assimilate to the other, than wait till a period when their passions, their prejudices, their habits, &c. become so rooted that there neither exists an inclination nor power to correct them? Dr. Franklin, a very strong advocate for my system, and, I think, at least as good authority as Aristotle, very aptly compares those who marry early to two young trees joined together by the hand of the gardener; "Trunk knit with trunk, and branch with branch intwined, Advancing still, more closely they are join'd; At length, full grown, no difference we see, But, 'stead of two, behold a single tree!" [1]
Those, on the other hand, who do not marry till late, say "thirty," for example, he likens to two ancient oaks;
"Use all your force, they yield not to your hand,
But firmly in their usual stations stand;
While each, regardless of the other's views,
Stubborn and fix'd, it's natural bent pursues!" [2]
But this is not all; it is in youth that we are best fitted to enjoy that exquisite happiness which the marriage state is capable of affording, and the remembrance of which forms so pleasing a link in that chain of friendship that binds to each other two persons who have lived together any number of years. Our ideas are then more refined; every generous and disinterested sentiment beats higher; and our sensibility is far more alive to every emotion our associate may feel. Depend upon it, the man who does not love till "thirty" will never, never love; long before that period, he will become too much enamoured of his own dear self to think of transferring his affections to any other object. He may marry, but interest alone will direct him in the choice of his wife; far from regarding her as the sweetest friend and companion of his life, he will consider her but as an unavoidable encumbrance upon the estate she brings him. And can you really hope, my Theodosia, with all your ingenuity, to convince me that such a being will enjoy equal happiness in marriage with me? with me, about to enter into it with such rapture; who anticipate so perfect a heaven from our uniting in every study, improving our minds together, and informing each other by our mutual assistance and observations? No—I give you full credit for your talents, but there are some causes so bad that even you cannot support them.
Enough, however, of this topic till we meet; I have already given you a volume of nonsense upon it.
Now for the fable, I cannot call it description, your "dear friends" have given you of this state. "The country," they say, because of the marshy grounds, "is rendered continually unhealthy with fever and agues." One would really conclude from this that we were a good representation of a meeting of Shaking Quakers. Alas! beautiful and romantic hills of Carolina, which the delighted traveller so often stops to admire; fair and fertile plains interspersed with groves of the orange, the lemon, and the myrtle, which fling such healthful fragrance to the air, where are ye fled? Has some earthquake, some sudden and dreadful concussion of nature, ingulfed you? No! You still remain for the delight and ornament of our country; you have lost existence only in the imagination of some beau or belle of New-York; who, ignorant of the geography and appearance of the most celebrated states, believes every other place except the Park and the Battery a desert or a marsh. But let us proceed:—"As to Charleston, an annual epidemic, joined to the yells of whipped negroes, which assail your ears from every house, and the extreme heat, make it a perfect purgatory!" What! is Charleston, the most delightfully situated city in America, which, entirely open to the ocean, twice in every twenty-four hours is cooled by the refreshing seabreeze, the Montpelier of the south, which annually affords an asylum to the planter and the West-Indian from every disease, accused of heat and unhealthiness?—Island of Calypso, where reigned perpetual spring! may we not, after this, expect thy flower-enamelled fields to be metamorphosed into dreary wastes of snow, and the sweet concerts of the feathered choir, which elysionized thy woods, converted into the howling of the tiger, or the horrid bark of the wolf? But this is not all, unfortunate citizens of Charleston; your disposition has been even still more outraged than your climate. Your mildness, humanity, and benevolence, are no more; cruelty, barbarity, a sanguinary love of torture, are now your distinguishing characteristics; the scream, the yell of the miserable, unresisting African, bleeding under the scourge of relentless power, affords music to your ears! Ah! from what unfriendly cause does this arise? Has the God of heaven, in anger, here changed the order of nature? In every other region, without exception, in a similar degree of latitude, the same sun which ripens the tamarind and the anana, ameliorates the temper, and disposes it to gentleness and kindness. In India and other countries not very different in climate from the southern parts of the United States, the inhabitants are distinguished for a softness and inoffensiveness of manners, degenerating almost to effeminacy; it is here then, only, that we are exempt from the general influence of climate: here only that, in spite of it, we are cruel and ferocious! Poor Carolina!
"The state of society, too, is equally inviting. The men and women associate very little; the former employ themselves either in the business of life, or in hunting horse-racing, and gaming; while the latter meet in large parties, composed entirely of themselves, to sip tea and look prim!" Would a stranger who had been among us, who had witnessed the polished state of our society, the elegance of our parties, the case and sociability of manners which prevail there, the constant and agreeable intercourse between the sexes, the accomplishments of our ladies, that proud and elevated spirit among the men which would feel "a stain like a wound," believe the account you have written meant as a picture of South Carolina? Would he believe, still further, that it was drawn by an American? No. He would suppose it the production of some jaundiced foreigner, who had never visited us, and who set down every thing out of his own country as rude and Gothic. Now I recollect Morse gives a description something like this of North Carolina; and I suspect your "friends" stole their account, with a little exaggeration, from him, but mistook the state. I have now replied to the fable of your "dear friends" in a veritable style; but, setting aside rhapsody, if you have time to read it, I will give you a proper and impartial account of our country in a few words. Possibly it may serve to amuse you, if still confined by your ankle.
For about sixty or seventy miles from the seacoast, the land is, perhaps, more uninterruptedly level than any equal tract of territory in the United States; from that distance it gradually becomes more hilly, till, as you advance into the interior, you become entangled in that chain of mountains which, rising in the back parts of Pennsylvania, runs through that state, touches a corner of Maryland, and, extending through North Carolina, South Carolina, and Georgia, forms a line between the Atlantic and transatlantic states. In upper Carolina it is as healthy as anywhere on the continent. The people are robust, active, and have a colour as fine as those of Rhode Island. In the low country, it is true, we are visited by "the fevers and agues" you mention, but it is only at a particular season, and near the banks of the rivers. In this we are by no means singular; those who reside on the borders of the lakes, the Connecticut, the Delaware, and the Potomac, are equally exposed. On the seacoast we again find health; Charleston, till within a few years past, was remarkably healthy. Since '93 it has been afflicted, at different times, during the summer, with an epidemic, which has certainly proved extremely fatal; but ought it to be called an "annual visitant" here any more than at Boston, New-York, Philadelphia, Baltimore, &c., all of which places have been equally, and some of them more, afflicted by it?