I once admired for device a skyrocket, and for motto—Let me perish so I be exalted." I afterward changed my opinion, and preferred the glow-worm twinkling in a hedge. But I now reject them both. They strike for a moment, but neither of them are impressive; and it is thus, in changing, we pursue that something "which prompts, the eternal sigh," which never is, which never can be attained. These reflections arise continually on my reading the newspapers, where your actions are so freely canvassed and so illiberally censured. They often excite my wrath; but when I consider that my anger can no more check their calumnies than the splendour of your reputation be clouded by their impotent attempts, my indignation subsides, and I console myself by saying,
"Vain his attempt who strives to please them all."
Z.
TO THEODOSIA.
Washington, February 21, 1802.
Your letter of the 31st, accompanied by a note dated 1st February, came by the mail of yesterday. A few lines from Mr. Alston, received some days before, advised me of your journey to Clifton, and of the distressing occasion. My heart sinks within me when I think of that lovely and disconsolate woman. Your conduct was worthy of you and of my daughter. She must be restored to reason and to life, by being convinced that she has some motive for enduring existence. If no other can be shown, at least she can be persuaded that she is necessary to you. But I learn from your letter, though you say nothing of it, that although she feels with anguish, yet she will not sink into despondency. This testifies a mind of that dignity and firmness which you had taught me to expect.
Nothing could have been more fortunate than the revival of the project. It will divert the attention and summon up the spirits. You must not condemn; it would be better to cherish it. Enter into all the details. Transport yourselves to Europe, and there take a nearer view and more accurate estimate of the dangers and advantages. Let those who oppose it offer something in lieu. What! is she to wear out her youth and beauty, dissipate her talents, and exhaust her spirits without an object in life or a place in society? Without enjoyment, without distinction? These hints will make you think I may hereafter say more.
My life has no variety, and, of course, no incident. To my feelings your letters are the most important occurrence. I am blessed with three of them in three months. It did not use to be so. It would be no excessive encroachment on your precious time to give me an hour twice a week the evening preceding the post days. This I shall expect; and then, and after one more communication, to be presently mentioned, I will write definitely as to my spring projects.
It is of sculpture: a hint in your last indicates that you have something in view. Be pleased to give me name and description, in some mystical, sybillistical way, which, in case of robbery of mail, will not disclose too much. One letter may contain the name, and another the comment—"Car ou l'arreter?" is rather too mystical. I can make nothing of it, having studied it a full hour to no purpose.
I entreat that you will always enclose your letter in a blank sheet, on which is to be the seal and superscription. Health and blessings.