You are not contented, my dear Burr, and why are you not? You sigh for New-Jersey, and why do you not return? It is true we are continually broken in upon by the sons of tumult and war. Our situation is such that the one army or the other is almost constantly with us, and yet we rub along with tolerable order, spirit, and content. Oh! that the days of peace would once more return, that we might follow what business, partake of what amusements, and think and live as we please. As to myself, I am, my dear Burr, one of the happiest of men. The office I hold calls me too frequently, and detains me too long, from home, otherwise I should enjoy happiness as full and high as this world can afford. It is, as you express it, "serene, rural, and sentimental;" and such, one day, you will feel.
"You see no company—you partake of no amusements—you are always grave." Such, too, has been the life that I have lived for months and years. I cannot say that it is an unpleasing one. I avoided company; indeed, I do so still, unless it be the company of chosen friends. I have been ever fond of my fireside and study—ever fond of calling up some absent friend, and of living over, in idea, past times of sentimental pleasure. Fancy steps in to my aid, colours the picture, and makes it delightful indeed. You are in the very frame of mind I wish you to be; may it continue.
I cannot tell you what has become of Mrs. Prevost's affairs. About two months ago I received a very polite letter from her. She was apprehensive that the commissioners would proceed. It seems they threatened to go on. I wrote them on the subject, but I have not heard the event. I am at this place, on my way to a superior court in Bergen. If possible, I shall wait on the good gentlewoman. At Bergen I shall inquire into the state of the matter. It will, indeed, turn up of course. You shall soon hear from me again. Adieu. May health and happiness await you
WILLIAM PATERSON.
The precarious and unsettled state of Colonel Burr's health, in the autumn of 1779 and the beginning of 1780, was such that he was unable to adopt and adhere to any regular system of study. Among his most intimate personal friends was Colonel Robert Troup. He, too, had determined to retire from public service, and was anxious to study in the same office with Burr. His letters cast much light on their pursuits at the time they were written.
FROM COLONEL TROUP.
Philadelphia, 16th January, 1780.
My dear Friend,
Watkins was kind enough to deliver me yours of the 8th of December, written, I presume, at Paramus. I almost envy you the happiness you have enjoyed. From the first moment of my acquaintance with Mrs. Prevost and her sister, I conceived an admiration for them both, which is much increased by the opinion you entertain of them. How, then, am I flattered by their polite manner of mentioning my name. To whom am I indebted but to you, my friend, for this unmerited favour? Surely these ladies saw nothing in me at Governor Livingston's which was worthy of remembrance, unless a terrible noise, which some people call laughter, could be worth remembering. With the best intention, therefore, to serve me, you have done me an injury, Aaron. I shall be afraid to see our favourites in the spring, because I shall fall infinitely short of their ideas of cleverness. Pray, do you recollect the opinion which Judge Candour solemnly pronounced upon us both, in a court of reason held at the Indian King? Why, then, will you expose my weakness by ascribing to me imaginary excellences? If you persist in such cruel conduct, sir, I will make you feel the weight of my resentment, by publishing to the world the purity of my esteem for your public and private character.
I am happy to find our plan of studying together appears more and more rational to you. It really does to me, and I hope we shall follow it. Since you left Philadelphia, some circumstances have turned up which render my office so disagreeable to me that I am determined to resign. Vous pouvez compter sur moi. Besides the disgust I have taken, I am led to it by ambition, which has a small share of influence over me as well as you.