The visitors were a middle-aged gentleman; a man of fortune, of family; has travelled, and been received in the first circles on both continents; intelligent and well-informed; prompt, rapid, and decisive. A high federalist, yet a warm and open friend of gamp on all occasions. Reputed to be insane, of which this attachment may be deemed an evidence. Such is Mr. Y. The other, Mr. S., a very handsome, genteel young man, who never carried a pack. They sat two hours, and Mr. Y. was not only rational, but amusing. The only evidence of insanity which I have heard is that he quarrels with his dear rib; and if this be deemed evidence, I fear our madhouses will soon be filled with married men. I ought to have excepted one incident, which has been related to me as follows:——
Mr. R., a young lawyer of reputable connexions, but who had committed some follies, called to visit Mr. Y. After sitting some time, "Mr. R.," says Y., "it has been reported that you are a little deranged in mind (there had, in fact, been such a report), and I have heard that whipping has been found a sovereign remedy; indeed, in the case of the King of England, its benefit was manifest. Now as I have a very great regard for you, and doubt whether your friends will take the trouble of administering this discipline, I will take it on myself to do it."
Two stout negroes were called in. The astonished R. was seized, stripped, and tied, and most unmercifully whipped. All, however, with the utmost composure on the part of Y., and mingled with expressions of kindness. When R. was taken down, bloody, lacerated, and exhausted—"Pray, sir, walk in and take a dish of tea." "No; d—-n you." "But, as you must be somewhat fatigued with the exercise, perhaps you would prefer some brandy and water." R. walked sullenly off, and, as soon as he had recovered, left the neighbourhood, and has not since been heard of.
But by this digression we have lost sight of the pack. The further discussion of that subject must be reserved for the "Book of Travels." The "grave sense" is still further off, and must wait a more fit occasion. As you are skilled in ancient mythology, I pray you to inform me whether there was ever a goddess of nonsense. A god won't serve my purpose. Momus, for instance, is a loud, boisterous, rude, coarse fellow.
Leave off the vice-president, &c., in the direction of your letters.
Let it be simply A.B. or Colonel B. Tell Mari so.
A. BURR.
TO THEODOSIA.
Washington, December 4, 1804.
You have doubtless heard that there has subsisted for some time a contention of a very singular nature between the states of New-York and New-Jersey. To what lengths it may go, or how it may terminate, cannot be predicted; but, as you will take some interest in the question, I will state it for your satisfaction and consideration.
The subject in dispute is which shall have the honour of hanging the vice-president. I have not now the leisure to state the various pretensions of the parties, with the arguments on either side; nor is it yet known that the vice-president has made his election, though a paper received this morning asserts, but without authority, that he had determined in favour of the New-York tribunals. You shall have due notice of the time and place. Whenever it may be, you may rely on a great concourse of company, much gayety, and many rare sights; such as the lion, the elephant, &c.