The Jimmyjohns, and other stories

by Abby Morton Diaz

“Shall I make it up true, or ‘fictisher’?” she asks.

Annetta’s true stories tell of things which have really happened. The “fictishers” are usually one solid mass of giants. In fact, her hearers have had so many and so very monstrous giants lately, that they can’t stand any more, and ask that Annetta shall “make it up true” this time; though, of course, what is true can’t be made up.

“Well, if I make it up true,” says Annetta, “I shall make it about the Jimmyjohns.” (The Jimmies, who are seated together in the row, look very smiling at this.) “All be very quiet,” Annetta goes on, “and keep in the row. Mr. Growly must not interrupt so much as he does most every time, because it’s every word true.

“Once there were two little twinnies named the Jimmyjohns, just as big as each other, and just as old, and just alike. And one day, when Joey Moonbeam was going to have a soap-bubble party, Annetta (me; but I mustn’t say me, you know)—Annetta wanted to make a pudding in her little pudding-pan, and her mother said she might. And her mother gave her some grease, so it needn’t stick on, and told how many teaspoonfuls of sugar to take, and milk and cracker, and twenty currants (because currants are smaller than raisins are). And one egg was too many for such a little one, and she couldn’t think what to tell about that: and Mr. Growly said humming-birds’ eggs would be the right size for such a little one; and he asked the Jimmyjohns if they would chase some humming-birds home and get their eggs, and they said ‘Yes.’ But he was only funning with them. And he took a little red box with white on top of it, that used to be a pill-box, out of Effie’s basket—she let him—for them to put the eggs in when they found any, and put two white sugar-lumps in the box; and their mother said, when they found the eggs, they could eat the sugar-lumps up, and put the eggs in there.

“And first they went behind the syringa-bush; and, when one came, they said, ‘Sh!’ and began to crawl out. But Johnny tried to stop a sneeze’s coming; and so that sneeze made a funny noise in his nose, and scared it away.

“And first it went to the sweet-peas; and then it flew to some wild rose-bushes over the fence, and then to some other places. And they chased it everywhere it went. And then it flew across a field where there was a swamp; and, when they came to the swamp, they couldn’t find it anywhere. And they saw a boy there, and that boy told them maybe it flew over the hills. Then they went over the hills, and it took them a great while. And pretty soon there came along a little girl, and her name was Minnie Gray; and she came to pick flowers in a basket for another girl that was sick, and couldn’t go out doors to smell the sweet flowers. And she asked them where they were going; and they said to find humming-birds’ eggs for Annetta to put in her pudding, because Joey Moonbeam was going to have a soap-bubble party. And they asked her if she knew where humming-birds laid their eggs, and she said she guessed in a lily; and they asked her where any lilies grew, and she said in her mother’s front-yard; and they asked her if they might go into her mother’s front-yard and look, and she said they might. Then they went over to Minnie Gray’s house, and went into her mother’s front-yard, and looked in every one of the lilies, but couldn’t find one. And pretty soon they saw the funny man, that mends umbrellas, coming out of a house with some umbrellas that he had to mend; and he asked them where they were going, and they said to find some humming-birds’ eggs for Annetta to put in her pudding that she was going to make in her pudding-pan, because Joey Moonbeam was going to have a soap-bubble party. And they asked him if he knew where to look for them, and he said they’d better climb up in a tree and look. Then he went into another house; and then they climbed up into Mr. Bumpus’s apple-tree and looked, and couldn’t find any; and Mr. Bumpus’s shaggy dog came out and barked, and Mr. Bumpus’s boy drove him away; and a limb broke with Johnny, and so he fell down, and it hurt him, and made him cry.

“And Mr. Bumpus called the dog, and told them to never climb up there and break his limbs off any more. And then they went along; and pretty soon the funny man came out of another house, and asked them if they had found any humming-birds’ eggs, and they said ‘No.’ Then he told them butterflies laid theirs on the backs of leaves: so they’d better go and look on the backs of leaves, and see if humming-birds did so. So they went into a woman’s flower-garden, and turned some of the leaves over, and looked on the backs of them; and a cross woman came out and told them to be off, and not be stepping on her flower-roots. And the funny man was coming out of a house way long the road; and, when they came up to him, he asked them if they’d found any, and they said ‘No.’ Then he laughed; and he told them that mosquitoes stuck their eggs together, and let them float on the water in a bunch together, and they’d better go over to the pond and look there. So they went over to the pond, and he sat down to wait; and they went and looked, and came right back again, and said they didn’t see any. Then he told them water-spiders laid theirs in water-bubbles under the water, and he said they’d better go back and look again. So they went back and paddled in the water, and couldn’t see any eggs in any of the bubbles, and got their shoes and stockings very muddy with wet mud. And, when they went back, there was another man talking with the funny man; and that other man told them that ostriches laid eggs in the ground for the sun to hatch them out, and they’d better go dig in the ground. The funny man and that other man laughed very much; and they went away after that. And then the Jimmies got over a fence into a garden, because the ground was very soft there, and began to dig in the ground; and, when they had dug a great hole, a man came up to them, and scolded at them for digging that hole in his garden, and he made them dig it back again. And I’ve forgot where they went then. Oh, I know now!”

“Up on the hill!” cry the Jimmies both together.

“Oh, yes! I know now. Then they went up on the hill; and there was a boy up there, and that boy told them maybe humming-birds had nests in the grass, just like ground-sparrows. But they could not find one; and, when they were tired of looking, they sat down on the top of the hill. And by and by Mr. Bumpus came along, and his wife (that’s Mrs. Bumpus); and she asked them if they had seen Dan (that’s Dan Bumpus), and they said ‘No.’ Then she said she and Mr. Bumpus were going to a picnic, and Dan was going. And she said they were going by the new roadway; and she asked them if they would wait there till Dan came, and tell Dan to go by the new roadway. And they promised to wait, and tell Dan. So they waited there a very long time, and didn’t want to stay there any longer; but they did, so as to tell Dan what they said they would. And then it was most noon; and Johnny said he was hungry, and Jimmy said he was too. The funny man saw them sitting up on top of the hill; and he went up softly and got behind some bushes when they didn’t see him, and looked through. And one of them wanted to go home; and the other one said, ‘’Twon’t do, ’cause we must tell Dan what we said we would.’ So they waited ever so long. And the one that had the red box took it out and opened it; and both of ’em looked in, and one of ’em asked the other one if he s’posed their mother would care if they ate up the sugar; and the other said mother told them they might eat the sugar-lumps when they found the eggs: so they didn’t know what to do. And, while they were looking at it, they heard a great humming noise in among the bushes. Then they crawled along toward the bushes, softly as they could, to see what was humming there. And they didn’t see any thing at first: so they crawled along and peeped round on the other side, and there they saw something very strange. They saw an old broken umbrella all spread open, and a green bush hanging down from it, and they saw the feet of a man under the bush; and the humming came from behind that umbrella. The funny man was behind there humming, but they didn’t know it; and he was looking through a hole. And, when they crawled up a little bit nearer to see what made that humming noise, he turned round with the umbrella, so they could not see behind that umbrella; and, every time they crawled another way, he turned round so they could not see behind that umbrella; and when they began to cry, because they felt scared, he took down the umbrella, and that made them laugh.

“The baker was coming along the new road; and the funny man stopped him, and bought two seed-cakes of him for the Jimmies. And he told them they needn’t wait any longer for Dan, for Dan had gone by another way, riding in a cart. Then he came home with the Jimmyjohns; and, when they got most to the barn, they saw me—no, I mean saw a little girl named Annetta (but it was myself, you know); and the funny man put up his old umbrella, and began to hum; and he told her to hark, and hear a great humming-bird hum; and that made me—no, made the little girl laugh. And she wanted him to keep humming; and she went in and told the folks to all come out and see a great big humming-bird. So the folks came out, and he kept moving the old umbrella so they couldn’t see who was humming behind there. And when they tried to get behind him, so as to see who was humming there, he went backward up against the barn; but one of them went in the barn and poked a stick through a crack and tickled his neck, and that made him jump away. Then Annetta’s father said he knew where there was a humming-bird’s nest. Then they all went across a field to some high bushes; and Mr. Plummer lifted up the little children so we could look in; and there we saw two very, very tiny, tiny white eggs, about as big as little white beans. The Jimmies wanted Annetta to take them to put in her pudding; but the funny man said they’d better not. He said he had read in a story-book, that, if you ate humming-birds’ eggs, you would have to hum all your life forever after. And so,” said Annetta, looking at the row from one end to the other, “the pudding never got made in the pudding-pan for Joey Moonbeam’s soap-bubble party.”