Ve should haf been dere long ago,
Mit dose machine dot flies,
But tings seem gooing britty slow,
Berhaps der Kaiser lies.
HANS BEGINS TO WONDER
April, 1915
I vonder if dot's nefer so,
Shaymeezle Russia take.
You can't pelieve von half you know,
Such lies dose papers make.
I vonder if dose tales are true,
Ve lose most all our ships,
Our colonies and commerce too;
I hear tings mit my lips.
I vonder if dose Dardanelles,
Can shtop der allied fleet,
Somedimes to me dere's someting tells,
Maype dose Turks get peat.
I vonder, too, if Italy
Vill give to us der bump,
Shoost now she's vaiting yet to see
Vichway der cat vill yump.
I vonder can our army shtop
Dose Russian teufels' raid,
Or vill dey gain de mountain top
Or fail to make de grade.
I vonder if dot Balkan bunch,
Und Greece und Holland too,
Should give us britty soon de punch,
Vot vill der Kaiser do.