A man called upon the President and solicited a pass for Richmond.
“Well,” said the President, “I would be very happy to oblige, if my passes were respected; but the fact is, sir, I have, within the past two years, given passes to two hundred and fifty thousand men to go to Richmond, and not one has got there yet.”
The applicant quietly and respectfully withdrew on his tiptoes.
“PUBLIC HANGMAN” FOR THE UNITED STATES.
A certain United States Senator, who believed that every man who believed in secession should be hanged, asked the President what he intended to do when the War was over.
“Reconstruct the machinery of this Government,” quickly replied Lincoln.
“You are certainly crazy,” was the Senator’s heated response. “You talk as if treason was not henceforth to be made odious, but that the traitors, cutthroats and authors of this War should not only go unpunished, but receive encouragement to repeat their treason with impunity! They should be hanged higher than Haman, sir! Yes, higher than any malefactor the world has ever known!”
The President was entirely unmoved, but, after a moment’s pause, put a question which all but drove his visitor insane.
“Now, Senator, suppose that when this hanging arrangement has been agreed upon, you accept the post of Chief Executioner. If you will take the office, I will make you a brigadier general and Public Hangman for the United States. That would just about suit you, wouldn’t it?”