¶ A HOKER, OR ANGGLEAR. Cap. 3.
Hese hokers, or Angglers, be peryllous and most wicked knaues, and be deryued or procede forth from the vpright men; they commenly go in frese ierkynes and gally slopes, poynted benethe the kne; these when they practise there pylfringe, it is all by night; for, as they walke a day times from house to house, to demaund charite, they vigelantly marke where or in what place they maye attayne to there praye, casting there eyes vp to euery wyndow, well noting what they se their, whether apparell or linnen, hanginge nere vnto the sayde wyndowes, and that wyll they {36} be sure to haue the next night folowing; for they customably carry with them a staffe of v. or vi. foote long, in which, within one ynch of the tope therof, ys a lytle hole bored through, [leaf 9] in which hole they putte an yron hoke, and with the same they wyll pluck vnto them quickly any thing that they may reche ther with, which hoke in the day tyme they couertly cary about them, and is neuer sene or taken out till they come to the place where they worke there fete: such haue I sene at my house, and haue oft talked with them and haue handled ther staues, not then vnderstanding to what vse or intent they serued, although I hadde and perceiued, by there talke and behauiour, great lykelyhode of euyll suspition in them: they wyl ether leane vppon there staffe, to hyde the hole thereof, when they talke with you, or holde their hande vpon the hole; and what stuffe, either wollen or lynnen, they thus hoke out, they neuer carye the same forth with to their staulyng kens, but hides the same a iij. daies in some secret corner, and after conuayes the same to their houses abouesaid, where their host or hostys geueth them money for the same, but halfe the value that it is worth, or els their doxes shall a farre of sell the same at the like houses. I was credebly informed that a hoker came to a farmers house in the ded of the night, and putting back a drawe window of a low chamber, the bed standing hard by the sayd wyndow, in which laye three parsones (a man and two bygge boyes), this hoker with his staffe plucked of their garments which lay vpon them to kepe them warme, with the couerlet and shete, and lefte them lying a slepe naked sauing there shertes, and had a way all clene, and neuer could vnderstande where it became. I verely suppose that when they wer wel waked with cold, they suerly thought that Robin goodfelow (accordi
ge to the old saying) had bene with them that night.
¶ A ROGE. Cap. 4.
Roge is neither so stoute or hardy as the vpright man. Many of them will go fayntly and looke piteously when they sée, either méete any person, hauing a kercher, as white as my shooes, tyed about their head, with a short staffe in their hand, haltinge, although they nede not, requiring almes of such as they {37} méete, or to what house they shal com. But you may easely perceiue by their colour that thei cary both health and hipocrisie about them, wherby they get gaine, when others want that cannot fayne and dissemble. Others therebee that walke sturdely about the countrey, and faineth to seke a brother or kinsman of his, dwelling within som part of the shire;—ether that he hath a letter to deliuer to som honest housholder, dwelling out of an other Shyre, and will shewe you the same fayre sealed, with the superscription to [leaf 9, back] the partye he speaketh of, because you shall not thinke him to runne idelly about the countrey;—either haue they this shyfte, they wyll cary a cirtificate or pasport about them from som Iusticer of the peace, with his hand and seale vnto the same, howe hée hath bene whipped and punished for a vacabonde according to the lawes of this realme, and that he muste returne to .T., where he was borne or last dwelt, by a certayne daye lymited in the same, whiche shalbe a good longe daye. And all this fayned, bycause without feare they woulde wyckedly wander, and wyll renue the same where or when it pleasethe them; for they haue of their affinity that can wryte and read. These also wyll picke and steale as the vpright men, and hath their women and metinges at places apoynted, and nothinge to them inferiour in all kynde of knauery. There bée of these Roges Curtales, wearinge shorte clokes, that wyll chaunge their aparell, as occation seruethe. And their end is eyther hanginge, whiche they call trininge in their language, or die miserably of the pockes.
¶ There was not long sithens two Roges that alwaies did associate them selues together, and would neuer seperat them selues, vnles it were for some especiall causes, for they were sworn brothers, and were both of one age, and much like of favour: these two, trauelinge into east kent, resorted vnto an ale house there,[69] being weried with traueling, saluting with short curtisey, when they came into the house, such as thei sawe sitting there, in whiche company was the parson of the parish; and callinge for a pot of the best ale, sat downe at the tables ende: the lykor liked them so well, that they had pot vpon pot, and sometyme, for a lytle good maner, would drinke and offer the cup to such as they best fancied; and to be short, they sat {38} out al the company, for eche man departed home aboute their busines. When they had well refreshed them selues, then these rowsy roges requested the good man of the house wyth his wyfe to sit downe and drinke with them, of whome they inquired what priest the same was, and where he dwelt: then they fayninge that they had an vncle a priest, and that he should dwel in these partes, which by all presumptions it should be he, and that they came of purpose to speake with hym, but because they had not sene hym sithens they were sixe yeares olde, they durst not be bold to take acquayntance of him vntyl they were farther instructed of the truth, and began to inquier of his name, and how longe he had dwelt there, and how farre his house was of from the place they were in: the good wyfe of the house, thynkinge them honest men without disceit, because they so farre enquyred of their kinseman, was but of a good zelous naturall intent, shewed them cherefully that hee [leaf 10] was an honest man and welbeloued in the parish, and of good welth, and had ben there resident xv. years at the least; “but,” saith she, “are you both brothers?” “yea, surely,” said they, “we haue bene both in one belly, and were twinnes.” “Mercy, god!” quoth this folish woman; “it may wel be, for ye be not much vnlike,”—and wente vnto her hall windowe, callinge these yong men vnto her, and loking out therat,[70] pointed with her fingar and shewed them the house standing alone, no house nere the same by almoste a quarter of a myle; “that,” sayd[71] she, “is your vncles house.” “Nay,” saith one of them, “he is not onely my vncle, but also my godfather.” “It may well be,” quoth she, “nature wyll bind him to be the better vnto you.” “Well,” quoth they, “we be weary, and meane not to trouble our vncle to-night; but to-morowe, god willinge, we wyll sée him and do our duty: but, I pray you, doth our vncle occupy husbandry? what company hath he in his house.” “Alas!” saith she, “but one old woman and a boy, he hath no occupying at al: tushe,” quoth this good wyfe, “you be mad men; go to him this night, for hée hath better lodging for you then I haue, and yet I speake folishly against my[72] own profit, for by your taring[73] here I should gaine the more by you.” “Now, by my troth,” quoth one of them, “we thanke {39} you, good hostes, for your holsome councell, and we meane to do as you wyll vs: we wyl pause a whyle, and by that tyme it wylbe almost night; and I praye you geue vs a reckeninge,”—so, manerly paying for that they toke, bad their hoste and hostes farewell with takinge leaue of the cup, marched merelye out of the dores towardes this parsones house, vewed the same well rounde about, and passed by two bowshotes of into a younge wodde, where they laye consultinge what they shoulde do vntyll midnight. Quoth one of them, of sharper wyt and subtyller then the other, to hys fellowe, “thou seest that this house is stone walled about, and that we cannot well breake in, in any parte thereof; thou seest also that the windowes be thicke of mullions, that ther is no kreping in betwene: wherefore we must of necessytie vse some policye when strength wil not serue. I haue a horse locke here about me,” saith he; “and this I hope shall serue oure turne.” So when it was aboute xii. of the clocke, they came to the house and lurked nere vnto his chamber wyndowe: the dog of the house barked a good, that with they[74] noise, this priest waketh out of his sléepe, and began to cough and hem: then one of these roges stepes forth nerer the window and maketh a ruful and pityful noise, requiring for Christ sake[75] some reliefe, that was both hongry and thirstye, and was like to ly with out the dores all nighte and starue for colde, vnles he were releued by him with some small pece of money. “Where dwellest thou?” quoth this parson. “Alas! sir,” saithe this roge, “I haue smal [leaf 10, back] dwelling, and haue com out of my way; and I should now,” saith he, “go to any towne nowe at this time of night, they woulde set me in the stockes and punishe me.” “Well,” quoth this pitifull parson, “away from my house, either lye in some of my out houses vntyll the morning, and holde, here is a couple of pence for thée.” “A god rewarde you,” quoth this roge; “and in heauen may you finde it.” The parson openeth his wyndowe, and thrusteth out his arme to geue his almes to this Roge that came whining to receiue it, and quickly taketh holde of his hand, and calleth his fellowe to him, whiche was redye at hande with the horse locke, and clappeth the same about the wrest of his arme, that the mullions standing so close together for strength, that for his {40} life he could not plucke in his arme againe, and made him beleue, vnles he would at the least geue them .iii. li., they woulde smite of his arme from the body. So that this poore parson, in feare to lose his hand, called vp his olde woman that lay in the loft ouer him, and wylled her to take out all the money he had, which was iiij. markes, which he saide was all the money in his house, for he had lent vi. li. to one of his neighbours not iiij daies before. “Wel,” quoth they, “master parson, if you haue no more, vpon this condicion we wil take of the locke, that you will drinke .xij. pence for our sakes to-morow at the alehouse wher we found you, and thank the good wife for the good chere she made vs.” He promised faithfully that he would so do; so they toke of the locke, and went their way so farre ere it was daye, that the parson coulde neuer haue any vnderstanding more of them. Now this parson, sorowfully slumbering that night betwene feare and hope, thought it was but folly to make two sorrowes of one; he vsed contentacion for his remedy, not forgetting in the morning to performe his promise, but went betims to his neighbour that kept tiplinge, and asked angerly where the same two men were that dranke with her yester daye. “Which two men?” quoth this good wife. “The straungers that came in when I was at your house wyth my neighbores yesterday.” “What! your neuewes?” quoth she. “My neuewes?” quoth this parson; “I trowe thou art mad.” “Nay, by god!” quoth this good[76] wife, “as sober as you; for they tolde me faithfully that you were their vncle: but, in fayth, are you not so in dede? for, by my trouth, they are strau[n]gers to me. I neuer saw them before.” “O, out vpon them!” quoth the parson; “they be false theues, and this night thei compelled me to geue them al the money in my house.” “Benedicite!” quoth this good wife, “and haue they so in dede? as I shall aunswere before god, one of them told me besides that you were godfather to him, and that he trusted to haue your blessinge before he departed.” “What! did he?” quoth this parson; “a halter blesse him for [leaf 11] me!” “Me thinketh, by the masse, by your countenance you loked so wildly when you came in,” quoth this good wife, “that somthing was amis.” “I vse not to gest,” {41} quoth this parson, “when I speake so earnestly.” “Why, all your sorrowes goe with it,” quoth this good wife, “and sitte downe here, and I will fil a freshe pot of ale shall make you mery agayne.” “Yea,” saith this parson, “fill in, and geue me some meat; for they made me sweare and promise them faithfully that I shoulde drinke xii. pence with you this day.” “What! dyd they?” quoth she; “now, by the mary masse, they be mery knaues. I warraunt you they meane to bye no land with your money; but how could they come into you in the night, your dores being shut fast? your house is very stronge.” Then this prason[77] shewed her all the hole circumstance, how he gaue them his almes oute at the wyndowe, they[78] made such lamentable crye that it pytied him at the hart; for he sawe but one when he put oute his hand at the windowe. “Be ruled by me,” quoth this good wyfe. “Wherin?” quoth this parson. “By my troth, neuer speake more of it: when they shal vnderstand of it in the parish, they wyll but laugh you to skorne.” [79]†“Why, then,” quoth this parson, “the deuyll goe with it,”—and their an end.†