Like one who, willing to defer a while
A sudden ruin, props the tottering pile,
Till in short space the house, the props, and all
Together in a dreadful ruin fall.
But to return; more actions come against the prisoner on parole, and it is necessary to have bail, not as a security to the plaintiffs, but to augment the bailiff’s emolument. It is a lucky hit if he has no friends ready; for then the banditti come into pay, and the Harvest begins, which ends not while a moveable is found on his premises; houshold furniture indeed is not the great crop aimed at, the unfortunate man is yet in good credit, and it would be the height of ingratitude to refuse a compliance with his own destruction, to serve such worthy friends as his bail; therefore he must accept a bill of 50 or 100l. for this rascal, another of the like sum for his colleague in iniquity, otherwise he is in danger of being rendered to prison. The bills thus obtained are negotiated, and the consideration sent to the den where they were given, and there divided by the thieves who inhabit it. The bills become due—the acceptor no abilities to pay—writs are taken out—more bail is procured of the same complexion—more notes must be given for the same laudable purposes—more credulous tradesmen are easily found to take them, and the product divided as before—and so on ad infinitum, till his credit is on a level with their principles. A statute of bankruptcy at last drops the curtain, and thus ends the farce before the tragedy is begun. Pettyfogging attornies, bailiffs, brokers, and thieves of every denomination have devoured his substance, the creditors are in luck if enough is left to pay the expence a commission. The bankrupt is sent to gaol to linger out the remainder of a wretched life, as a reward for that folly and imprudence, which his creditors construe fraud and villany.
It may be thought, Sir, that the fertility of my invention supplies the chasm of bailiffs knavery, and that to indulge an unjustifiable spleen, I have given my veracity a stretch; indeed there is no occasion for fiction, I have a most plentiful stock of substantial, well-attested infamy to cull materials from, and can produce many men who have gone through this ceremony step by step, with this variation only, that the scope of villany has been more extensive, and the catastrophe protracted to a longer date. Things are strongly misrepresented if a certain bailiff of Middlesex did not extort bills to the amount of 3000l. from one man in the afore-mentioned situation. But if these transactions, infamous as they are, were the ultimate of their villany, I should hold them so barren of vice as not to merit censure. Acts of a more alarming and cruel nature are daily practised by these Buccaneers and Hussars of law; I shall therefore overlook these as supernumerary artifices, bagatelles, and common garnish to their standing household dish of villanies, and proceed to a view of their integrity in the execution of a legal process levied on the effects of a defendant.
The first step in this business is putting from two to any requisite number of their own worthies in possession, not to preserve the property, but to swear that no such property existed, if necessary. The goods are generally taken off the premises without the tedious form of appraisement, inventory, or bill of sale from the sheriff; nor is the difference between the sum levied and the amount of the property any obstruction, these are niceties to be determined by law. Taking ALL the property they find is, in the Bailiff Dictionary, securing the ammunition to prevent A FIRING; the English of which is, robbing a man of ALL will prevent his having any thing left to procure redress. The burglary thus completed, the plunder is appraised by the FAMILY broker, and as formally sold to another honest chapman in the FAMILY way. If the injured party should fortunately raise a friend to inquire into the nature of this atrocious robbery, what avails it! the matter comes before the court—affidavits innumerable prove the legality of the whole transaction, and the oppressor triumphs in victorious villany. Yet a man of common understanding will answer, how is it possible these depredations can be committed with impunity, in the face of such excellent laws? I reply, that the excellency of those laws, and their favourable interpretation by our judges, &c. renders it almost impracticable to come at offenders of this class. Whilst affidavits can be procured at the stinted price of half a crown, to weigh in testimony against such as are the language of truth, dictated by conscience only, we have little hopes of redress for injuries of this stamp, as the complaint must be made by motion on affidavit, and the reply is made in the same mode, with five affidavits to one, which lawyers term weight of metal; therefore we may justly say, the laws designed for our protection are in the hands of infamous professors, the most grievous evil the subject knows; the laws of this kingdom, though the most admirable code in the known world, are but so many implements of oppression to individuals destitute of abilities to purchase a proper share of them; a convincing proof that Liberty, unaccompanied with property, is a mere Farce. I will venture to affirm, that if half these outrages had been committed in an absolute monarchy, nothing less than the offender’s life would atone for the offence; from what false notions then do we bear with oppressions unknown and unheard of even amongst the Algerines, and other countries distinguished by the badge of slavery? I will maintain that, to poor individuals, such slavery is virtually Liberty in every ADVANTAGEOUS acceptation of the word, in a more beneficial sense than the subjects of this country experience. Do not these laws murder the wretch languishing under the intenseness of hunger, and every other motive that the wants of human nature can urge, who steals a shilling, at the same time that they screen a dignified villain, living luxuriously on the spoils of a whole nation, who, by purchasing a little well-chewed eloquence at the bar, gets his robberies graced with the epithets of error and mistake? But, of all the diabolical practices in the creed of a bailiff and pettifogger, the breaking open our houses, under Pretence of an execution, is surely the most shocking, though not the least frequent. This species of burglary is perpetrated in the following manner: one of their co-operators is set up a creditor, no matter for what sum; that circumstance is guided by the amount of the property discovered on the premises. A writ is immediately sued out, and another pettifogger accepts the service in the supposed defendant’s name, whom he never saw or heard of. In this manner the proceedings go on; a declaration is delivered and received in the like manner, and, to give a better colour to the transaction, a special plea is put in: in this seemingly regular mode, execution is taken out and levied on the effects of the unfortunate object, who is thunder-struck at the event, as well he may; but expostulating or complaining is fruitless.
The property is either sold on the premises, or taken away for the same purpose.
The officer takes shelter under his warrant.
The attorney under his client’s instructions to sue.
The affair is so managed as to levy the last day of a term, that no court may be open to a complaint; and before the next term Affidavit’s sufficient prove not only the legality of the debt and proceedings, but that no such transaction ever happened, if that should be found most convenient. I have been witness to the oppression and cruelties exercised in conquered countries, the misery and wretchedness of the inhabitants living under military and despotic governments, and to the numerous train of evils accompanying the seat of war; but never, no never, met with horrors so dreadful to look on, as are daily perpetrated with impunity in this country of boasted liberty:
As well we might the host of armies bear,
As feel the EFFECTS, DISTRESS, and FORCE of war.
Why do we tell Spain, Portugal, and Italy, that we have neither bravos, assassins, or inquisitions, when we are cursed with pettyfogging attornies, bailiffs, and knights of the post, a more numerous and dangerous left of banditti, who commit every species of barbarity and cruelty, under the specious pretext of doing their duty? To what purpose do we daily waste our lungs, and crack the drum of our ears, bauling at the illegality of General Warrants, which happens once in a century?