Our observers now turned their direction westward, and passed into Lombard Street, chiefly formed of banking-houses and other public edifices. “This street,” said Dashall, “is noted as the focus of wealth, the point of convergence of civic riches, and its respectable bankers are not more dignified by the possession of superabundant property than enhanced in the estimation of their fellow-citizens by strictly conscientious honour and integrity.
“And of these not the least important in self-consequence is the jolly civic Baronet,” continued Dashall, “who has already come more than once within the scope of our observation.”
“Ecce homo! behold the man!” responded the Squire, and the Baronet was descried rolling his ponderous form from the opposite alley to his banking-house.
“It is rather unfortunate,” observed Dashall, “that nature has not kept pace with fortune, in liberality to the Baronet. Profuse in giving him a colossal magnitude of person, he exhibits a most disproportionable endowment of intellect. Unlike his great prototype Sir John, in one sense, but yet resembling him in another, 'He is not witty himself, but he occasions wit in others.'”
“You are very fond of making a butt of me,” observed the Baronet to a brother Alderman.—“By no means,” rejoined the latter, “I never was fond of an empty butt in my life.” “Is the worthy Baronet inclined at times, (asked the Squire) in his capacity of M.P. to irradiate the gloom of St. Stephens?”
“O yes, frequently, particularly so when in the plenitude of his wisdom he conceives that he can enlighten the house with a modicum of information. The last time I heard him hold forth was as an apologist for the tumultuary loyalists at the Mansion House Meeting, when he delivered himself in a manner so heterogeneal of commonsense, and so completely in a style of egotism, as to excite the ridicule and risibility of the whole house, and discompose the gravity of even the speaker himself."{1}
1 The following is a strictly literal versification of the Speech alluded to: THE MANSION-HOUSE ROW, AND APOLOGY FOR THE LOYALISTS. Being a literal versification of the eloquent Speech of Sir W—ll—m C—RT—s, Baronet, in the House of Commons, Friday, February 2, on the presentation, by Mr. John Smith, of the Petition of the Merchants of London. I rise, Mr. Speaker, indulgence entreating A Speech while I make on the Mansion-house Meeting. The prior Requisition was certainly signed By men of good substance, with pockets well lin'd! With such I am ever good humour'd and civil, But worth, without wealth, I would pitch to the devil'. The Lord Mayor, I think, then, assum'd a position Of duty, in yielding to said Requisition; For may my oration be given to scorn, If ever I saw, from the day I was born, A list of more honoured, more propertied men, And probably never may see such again. Now high as I prize both the merits and station, Of loyalists signing the first declaration; Permit me to say, it was too mild by half, Too much milk and water—Some Members may laugh— I care not;—I say that it did not inherit The tythe of a loyal and time serving spirit. I'm charged too with signing it, nevertheless, I DID,—for I knew not how else to express My zeal, in supporting, with firm resolution, The Crown,—and Old England's decay'd Constitution! Who they are, Constitution and Crown that sustain, The people should now,—else we labour in vain! And, therefore, I sign'd the fore-named declaration. Altho' such a weak milk and water potation! For why should the loyalists smother their cause, And lose the high gain,—ministerial applause. ?Pon honour,—aye, even in detractions despite— In corners and holes, Sir, I take no delight; And, never on any pursuit do I go, Of which 1 don't want the Almighty to know! I signed, Sir, the loyal, luke-warm declaration, To bring to its senses a turbulent nation! To cheer up His Majesty,—win his good graces, And keep his lov'd Ministers still in their places! The hon'rable member, my friend, who spoke last, Is not quite correct in detailing what pass'd At the Mansion-house Meeting; for patiently heard He was, until symptoms of riot appear'd. At last it broke out, with a vengeance 'tis true, And dire was the fracas! but what could we do, Where adverse opinion so warmly prevail'd, And each with revilings his neighbour assail'd? Why, Sir, to this house, I could prove in a minute, That greater majorities out than now in it, Of sound thinking persons, in these fair dominions, Are scouting the hon'rable member's opinions. Well-bred, Sir, believe me, and good-looking people, Were wedg'd in the Mansion-house quite of a heap all; Whilst I, most politely, besought their attention, But no,—not a word was I suffer'd to mention! A party oppos'd me, altho' no long speeches I make,—(a kind lesson that prudence still teaches;) And waiting a hearing an hour, perhaps longer, The dissonant clamour grew fiercer and stronger! In fact, when I open'd my mouth, the commotion Exceeded in fury the storms of the ocean! Some hale stout young men, who had mix'd with the throng, And press'd, the conflicting addressers among, Escap'd from the Meeting in tumult and smother, And swore that they never would visit another! I well recollect, in the year ninety-three, A similar fracas I happen'd to see; The place, Grocers' Hall, where contention was wrought, So high, that a stout battle-royal was fought! Indeed, save one Meeting, I ne'er knew a case, Where wrangling and fighting had not taken place! In that one, so happen'd, good luck to betide, Its fortunate members—were all on one side! Reverting again to the Mansion-house Row, When next our staunch loyalists mean to avow Their zeal,——may they issue a strong declaration, Then mix'd with a water and milk preparation! The gout in my toe, for I wore a great shoe, At last sent me home, without bidding adieu. And now having said, Mr. Speaker, thus much I hope on this house the impression is such, The loyalists fully to clear, and their leader From charge, at that Meeting, of boisterous proceedure. The Honourable Baronet now sat down, amid the ironical cheers, of the Treasury, and the tumultuous laughter of the whole house.
The two partners in adventure had now reached the Mansion House. The Justice Room was open, and the friends ascended the stairs in order to witness the equitable dispensation of right by the Civic Sovereign.
The case now under investigation was a curious one, and excited the interest and amusement of a numerous auditory.
The itinerant exhibitor of a dancing bear, complained that the person (proprietor of a small menage) now summoned into the presence of his lordship, illegally withheld from him a monkey, his property, and the ci-devant associate of the ursine dancer aforesaid.