“And when so made,” said Sparkle, “I shall wish you well with it; but I think the speculation I have already named much more likely to turn out equal to your wishes, and more consonant with your feelings, than the pursuit of either of those you have mentioned.”
“There I agree perfectly with you; and if I can make all right with the old gentleman, a fig for all the rest of my occupations: but you know I always liked independence, and if I could not get a fortune ready made, I had a desire to be the architect of one I should raise for myself.”
“Why I know you have generally borne the character of a man of genius.”
“Yes, and a deal my character did for me after quitting the walls. Why man, I happened to hear of a vacancy in a city parish school, for which I ventured to conceive myself duly qualified, and therefore determined to make application to the churchwardens, one of whom had the character of being a man of great power, and was said to be the first in his line in the three kingdoms. Away I posted, full of hope and expectation of becoming a second Caleb Quotem, not doubting but salary and circumstances would turn out exactly to my wish.”
“But I thought you liked independence,” said Tallyho.
“Rather too much to engage in that concern,” was the reply, “as you will hear presently. Upon tracing out this gentleman who bore so strong a recommendation to particular notice, you may guess my surprise upon finding 'Purveyor of sausages' in gold letters over his door.”
Dashall burst into an irresistible laugh, and was most cordially joined by Sparkle and Tallyho, who were now strongly interested in the result of Merrywell's account.
“When I arrived,” continued Merry well, “this patron was reading the newspaper, which he threw down immediately upon my entrance, having mistaken me for a customer.”
“Survaut, Sir,” said he, pulling down his greasy waist-coat.—“I am come, Sir,” said I, “to make some inquiry concerning a vacant school-master-ship.”—“Oh there again,” resumed the sausage-making churchwarden,—“Vy you are the seventeenth fellow that has been here to-day a bothering me about this plaguy vacasey. How do you read? you'll have a trial before me and my brother representative of this parish, and my spouse will also attend the reading bouts. Now if so be as you minds your hits, why then may be you'll be the dominy. But, mind you, I don't like your sonorous voices, and my spouse—she knows things quite as well as I do,—she vants a great deal of action, so only you mind, loud and sonorous, and plenty of muscular motion for my spouse, that's the vay to win; but I haven't any time to talk to you now, you must call of an evening, when I am more at leisure, and then I'll explain; so move off now, Sir, move off, for I sees a customer coming—survant maum.”—“Flesh and blood could bear no more, and so”———“So what,” said Sparkle; “did you knock him down in the midst of his own sausages?”
“No, no, I knew too much of the law for that; but I cut the churchwarden, and bolted from the sausage-shop, determined to embrace law, physic, or divinity, in preference to cutting