Now before you, which may

Form excuse for this turn of the story.

First, I think it is rude to remark what folks eat,

So I mended my pen while they cut up the meat;

And this tale copied out, which I thought might apply

To events that were passing close under my eye.

But my strain I'll resume when they come to dessert,

And will note down their jokes, which no feelings can hurt.

For who'd like a reporter on paper with ink

To note all that you eat, and write down what you drink?