She continued:
'You see, Aylmer knows so well how much the children are to me, and he would never ask me to leave them. There's no question of my ever leaving them. And Bruce wouldn't mind. Bruce would be only too thankful for me to take them. And there's another thing—though I despised the idea at the time, there's a good deal in it. I mean that Aylmer's well off, so I should never be a burden. He would love to take the responsibility of us all. I would leave my income to Bruce; he would be quite comfortable and independent. Oh, he would take it. He might be a little cross, but it wouldn't last, Landi. He would be better off. He'd find somebody—someone who would look after him, perhaps, and make him quite happy and comfortable. You're shocked?'
'Ça ne m'étonne pas. It's the reaction,' said Landi, nodding.
'How wonderful of you to understand! I haven't seen him again, you know.
I've just been thinking. In fact, I'm surprised at myself. But the more
I reflect on what he said, the more wonderful it seems…. Think how
he's cared for me all this time!'
'Sans doute. You know that he adores you. But, Edith, it's all very well—you put like that—but could you go through with it?'
'I believe I could now,' she answered. 'I begin to long to. You see, I mistook my own feelings, Landi; they seemed dulled. I thought I could live without love—but why should I? What is it that's made me change so? Why do I feel so frightened now at the idea of losing my happiness?'
'C'est la guerre,' said Sir Tito.
'The war? What has that to do with it?'
'Everything. Unconsciously it affects people. Though you yourself are not fighting, Aylmer has risked his life, and is going to risk it again. This impresses you. To many temperaments things seem to matter less just now. People are reckless.'
'Is it that?' asked Edith. 'Perhaps it is. But I was so completely deceived in myself.'