“‘Well, I will do it,’ replied Mr. Bacon. ‘Suppose now you and I were travelling together; we arrive at a hotel which is crowded; there are only two rooms not entirely occupied, in one of which there is a man, in the other a woman: with which would you prefer to sleep?’
“The lady arose indignantly, and replied, ‘With the woman, of course, sir.’
“‘So would I,’ replied Mr. Bacon, triumphantly.”
(My room had two beds in it, which suggested the above story.)
Dr. K.’s Mare.
The outline of the following ludicrous “situation” was given me by a gentleman of Framingham:—
Old Dr. K., of F., was represented as a rough and off-handed specimen of the genus homo, who liked a horse even better than a woman,—not that he was by any means unmindful of the charms and claims of the beautiful,—better than he loved money, though the latter passion bordered on avariciousness.
An over-nice and sensitive spinster once was visiting the family of Mr. T., in town, which employed a younger and more refined physician than Dr. K.; and the spinster, being somewhat indisposed, requested Mr. T. to call a physician. His own family doctor was suggested; but on close inquiry, she concluded to have “the oldest and most experienced physician that the town afforded,” and old Dr. K. was called.
Mr. T. had just purchased a beautiful mare, which the doctor was desirous of possessing; and the animal was the subject of conversation as the two entered the house, even to the parlor, where the spinster reclined upon a sofa. The old doctor examined the lady for a moment in silence, but his mind was all absorbed in the reputed qualities of the mare, as he timed the lady’s pulse.
“Slightly nervous,” he said to the spinster. “Tongue? Ah! coated. Throat sore?” and turning towards T., he resumed the horse discussion, still holding the lady’s wrist. “Good wind, Mr. T.? No spavins? Nothing the matter? Suppose you trot her out this afternoon.”