The wine came, and the lawyer invited in a few friends to laugh over the joke, and smile over the doctor’s wine. The seal was broken, the dust and cobwebs being removed, and the doctor’s health drunk right cordially. The excellence of the doctor’s wine was but half discussed, when the lawyer begged to be excused a moment, caught his hat, and rushed from the room. Soon one of the guests repeated the request, and followed; then another, and another, till they had all gone out.
The wine had been nicely “doctored” with tartar emetic, the seal replaced and well dusted over, before being sent to the lawyer. The doctor was now threatened with prosecution; but after some consideration, the following brief correspondence passed between the belligerents:—
“Nolle prosequi.” Lawyer to doctor.
“Quits.” Doctor to lawyer.
Parboiling an Old Lady.—In Rockland, Me., then called East Thomaston, several years ago, there resided an old Thomsonian doctor, who had erected in one room of his dwelling a new steam bath. An old lady from the “Meadows,” concluding to try the virtues of the medicated steam, went down, was duly arrayed in a loose robe by the doctor’s wife, and with much trepidation and many warnings not to keep her too long, she entered the bath—a sort of closet, with a door buttoned outside. The steam was kept up by a large boiler, fixed in the fireplace which the doctor was to regulate. The old lady took a book into the bath, “to occupy her mind, and keep her from getting too nervous.”
“Now it’s going all right,” said the doctor, when ding, ding, ding! went the front door bell. The doctor stepped noiselessly out, and learned that a woman required his immediate attention at South Thomaston, three miles away. He forgot all about the old lady fastened into the bath, and leaping into the carriage in waiting, he was whisked off to South Thomaston.
Meantime the steam increased, and the old lady began to get anxious. The moisture gathered on her book; the leaves began to wilt. The dampness increased, and soon the book fell to pieces in her lap. Great drops of sweat and steam rolled down over her face and body, and she arose, and tapping very gently at the door, said,—
“Hadn’t I better come out now, doctor?”
