“Yes, yes; but suppose the disease is all over the person, as mine is.”
“Then we place them in this,” putting his hand upon an article which she had not before discovered.
“That? Why, that looks like the case to a Dutchman’s pipe, only a sight times larger. And do tell if you shet folks up in that box,” cautiously approaching and examining it.
The operator assured her such was the case.
“Is the disease left in the box when you are done pumping? Does it really suck all the disease into the thing by the process?” she inquired.
“Well, madam, you put your questions in a remarkable manner. But it displaces the air around the person, and the vital principle within forces out the disease. It is certain to benefit all diseases,” he replied.
“Well, I don’t see how it can, if it can’t be seen. Does it act as physic, emetic, a bath, or do the sores follow right out of the blood into the box?”
“Neither, madam.” The operator was very patient. “Just try the limb-receiver first; then you can tell better about the whole treatment.”
After much persuasion, and by the assistance of the female operator, the old lady was seated, and the limb-receiver adjusted. Now the man in the next room began to pump. The old lady was very nervous, and felt for her snuff-box, and while so doing the man was still pumping. Having taken the snuff, her mind again referred to the limb in the box, and the pressure (suction) having naturally increased, her nervousness overcame her, and with a scream and a bound she left the chair and rushed for the door, dragging the receiver, which clung tight to the one limb, rather outweighing the boot and hose of the other, drawing the gutta-percha pipe after her, which only added to her fright, and with another scream for “help,” and “O, will nobody save me?—O, murder, murder!” she, like a bound lion, went the length of her chain, and tumbled over in a heap on the floor. The woman rushed from behind the screen, the man from the pump-room, and rescued the old lady, who fled to her carriage in waiting; and doubtless to her dying day she will continue to tell of how narrowly she escaped “being sucked entirely through that gutta-percha pipe—only for her having on a bustle.”
Country Mistakes.