SHORT. Nor more do I when I get down first. Who devoured the whole dish of kidneys, and left me nothing for my breakfast but half a round of cold toast? But, what’s all that about outside? They’re parading four horses up and down before the house—one great brute nearly ran over me as I was crossing the road.
SWEET. (sits R. of table, L.) That’s exactly what you said when you knocked down that Shetland pony in the Borough and trod upon it, and then came fainting into a pastrycook’s shop, swearing you had been run over. What, didn’t I tell you then that we are all going out for a ride?
SHORT. What do you mean by all? I am not going, I can tell you. Do you think, at my time of life, I would trust myself to the back of a horse from a livery stable? Why, when I was fifteen or twenty years younger, in my wildest days, I never permitted myself anything beyond a donkey on the sands at Ramsgate, and then only a quiet one. I never could bear a fiery donkey.
SWEET. Come now, you are not going to spoil sport—your wife has set her heart upon it. (rises and goes to SHORT)
SHORT. My wife, Sweet, never sets her heart upon anything but what mine’s set on too, so you may send back two of the horses, I promise you.
SWEET. Do you mean to say you are going to take this step without first consulting your wife?
SHORT. Of course, I am.
SWEET. What, on your own private authority, refuse Mrs. Short?
SHORT. Refuse! There will be no necessity for that—I shall just say I don’t go, and she won’t go either.