MRS. SWEET. Really, this behaviour is most unpardonable, why you are a completely altered man—I am surprised at you!
SWEET. Yes, ma’am, I am altered—totally altered! (crosses to L.) I have given way for the last time, and you’ll be much more surprised when you find that I am firm—determined—fixed!
MRS. SWEET. Well, I have never seen you in such a detestable temper before in all my life.
SWEET. You provoke me, ma’am! I am tired of being contradicted! Tired of it!
MRS. SWEET. What can you mean, William? Why, if any one saw us we should be set down for the most unhappy couple in the world.
SWEET. So we are, Mrs. Sweet! so we are! although I wasn’t aware of till we came down here a month ago to these lodgings with the Shorts,—I was contented enough before then, happy as the days were long—sometimes giving into your way, sometimes getting my own,—but I was a fool then, and didn’t know any better! Look at Short—my eyes are opened now—see how much happier he is with his wife than I am with you! I wish, ma’am, to be obeyed like Short—to be observed like Short—to be doated on like Short—to be caressed like Short—to be petted like Short—to be patted like Short—to be fat like Short! Why ain’t I of as much consequence as he is? Why is he always obeyed when I am not? (crosses to R.)
MRS. SWEET. Because he is less extravagant in his desires, I suppose.
SWEET. How, ma’am!
MRS. SWEET. Or else, perhaps, because he has a more amiable way of making his wishes understood. In a word—because he doesn’t resemble you.