VAN. (aside) An agreeable predicament this for a married man—very! My wife may return every minute. (aloud, rising, and confused) Madam, you’ll excuse my being rather laconic, I have no time just now for ceremony—to what am I indebted for the honour of this visit?
MRS. BOBBINS. I feel quite stupified! what effrontery!
VAN. I have no wish to affront you, ma’am, but as I said before, I have no time for ceremony.
MRS. BOBBINS. Sir, this is monstrous! I took you, by your deportment on the railway, for a gentleman, but I see I was deceived. Your conduct is inconsistent and extreme.
VAN. I know what you allude to, ma’am, and I admit I did run away somewhat abruptly; but if you knew my reasons—
MRS. BOBBINS. I wish to hear nothing further, sir. (crosses to R.) Pray let there be an end of this. (takes off her bonnet and shawl)
VAN. (aside) Why, she’s absolutely taking off her things! Does she think she is going to establish herself in the house, under my wife’s nose? I must get rid of her somehow or other. (aloud, and getting impatient) Madam, as I have already said twice before, I have no time for standing on ceremony—you will therefore excuse my coming to the point at once—anywhere else—anywhere else I shall be happy to hear what you have to say—any place you like to appoint—St. James’s Park, Kensington Gardens—
MRS. BOBBINS. Sir, I am of a highly excitable, nervous temperament, and if you don’t take care, you’ll throw me into hysterics.
VAN. (aside) Confound it—she’s no better than she should be. Oh, I must turn her out. (aloud) I tell you what it is, my dear, this won’t do. I am a married man.
MRS. BOBBINS. Well, sir, what if you are—that makes your persecution of me the more atrocious!