Jean spent many happy hours listening to the click of Herrick's machine and laying down the laws of life. Fear was the thing to be afraid of. She was very clear and definite in her own mind about this. Fear was the great paralysis. But there was no need for any one to be paralyzed unless he wanted to be. Of these speculations and certainties she wrote to Pat, and Pat wrote back asking the color of Herrick's eyes and saying she was too busy to philosophize about fear or anything else and would "save all that" until she saw Jean, if that happy day ever came, now that Jean was so busy leading her double life. Pat always insisted on referring to Jean's newspaper work as one life and her "man job" as another life.
Herrick liked this and used to stop work sometimes to come and sit close to Jean on the couch and demand:
"Am I your 'man job,' Jean?"
When Jean said he was, Herrick insisted that she put the stamp of her workmanship on it, which meant that Jean was to kiss him. When she had kissed him he would go back to the machine and work steadily. He was always making up little games like that, and after Jean had gotten over the first sense of foolishness, she had come to like them.
Jean was quite honest with herself and with Herrick when she said that he was her real work. She had no delusions about the newspaper. It was much better than the library and infinitely better than teaching, but she was not a born newspaper woman. She had not again found a Dr. Mary or any one who approached her. It was only because her personal life was full in those first months that some of the interest overflowed into her routine, and Jean was able to interview dull people and whip their mediocre purpose into some kind of life. The atmosphere of the office she loathed, with its terrific rush and confusion, and was never able to work up a proper respect for the wonderful concentration of Mr. Thompson.
She often thought of Dr. Mary and her promise to go to the Hill House. Twice she asked Herrick to go with her on a Sunday afternoon, but Herrick had begged off.
"We work hard all the week, Jeany, and taking tea and settling the affairs of nations strikes me as too strenuous for our one day of rest. And, besides, I want you all to myself."
Jean was disappointed but said nothing. She decided to go and see the little doctor the first chance she had. But, somehow, the chance did not come, and finally, when six months had gone by, she was ashamed to go.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
In the middle of November, Herrick struck a snag in his work. The first five chapters had gone well. He had brought Robert up from the farm, taken him through college and plunged him into a big mining scheme in South America. He had drawn well the narrowness of Robert's home and the longing for opportunity.