Thou art Ruler. O my God! only [pg 182] be Thyself the Guide, and abide with me forever!
MY MEMORY
My Memory! the mysterious book—reflection of that of eternity, in which at each moment are inscribed my thoughts, affections, and desires.
Into Thy Hands I commend it, Lord, that Thou alone mayst write there, Thou alone efface!
Leave there, Lord, the remembrance of my sins, but efface forever the pleasures that led to them—were I to catch but a glimpse of their enticing sweetness, I might again desire them. Leave there the sweet memories of childhood, when I loved Thee with such simplicity, and my father, my mother, my family, were my sole affections. Those days, when the slightest untruthfulness, or even the fear of having sinned, left me no peace till I had confessed it to my mother. Those [pg 183] days, when I always felt my Guardian Angel near me, helping me in my work, and soothing my little troubles!
Leave me the remembrance of my first sense of the Divine absolution, when my heart overflowing with secret joy, I cried, I am forgiven, I am forgiven!
And then the recollection of my first Communion! oh, recall it to me, Lord, with its preparation so fearful, yet so loving; its joy so calm, so holy, yet so sweet, that even now the thought of it fills mine eyes with tears!
Leave me the remembrance of Thy Benefits! each year of my life is crowned with blessings ... at ten ... fifteen ... eighteen ... twenty years ... oh! I can well recall all Thy goodness to me, my God! Yes, receive my memory, blot out all that can estrange me from Thee, and grant that nothing apart from Thee may again find a place there!