What Will Be My Cross To-day?
Perhaps that person, with whom Providence has placed me, and whom I dislike, whose look of disdain humiliates me, whose slowness worries me, who makes me jealous by being more beloved, more successful, than myself, whose chatter and light-heartedness, even her very attentions to myself, annoy me.
Or it may be that person that I think has quarrelled with me, and my [pg 079] imagination makes me fancy myself watched, criticised, turned into ridicule.
She is always with me; all my efforts to separate are frustrated; by some mysterious power she is always present, always near.
This is my heaviest cross; the rest are light in comparison.
Circumstances change, temptations diminish, troubles lessen; but those people who trouble or offend us are an ever-present source of irritation.
How to Bear This Daily Cross
Never manifest, in any way, the ennui, the dislike, the involuntary shudder, that her presence produces; force myself to render her some little service—never mind if she never knows it; it is between God and myself. Try to say a little good of her [pg 080] every day, of her talents, her character, her tact, for there is all that to be found in her. Pray earnestly for her, even asking God to help me to love her, and to spare her to me.