"I don't know what he really wishes, or what is the matter with him. He is tired and has a headache, and he can't or won't say more. Do bring him to a point, Jean, somehow. I wish he had not been so far this morning: but one could not guess, and it had no business to knock him down like this. Your father ordered a fly, for we didn't suppose Jem could manage the walk; and it will be here soon after seven."
Jean went to the drawing-room, wondering. Flys were not a common indulgence at the Rectory. She found Jem in the deep easy-chair near an open window, with his hand over his eyes. Jean's step was light as of old, and he seemed unconscious of her entrance. She stood looking at him for some seconds.
"Aunt Marie thinks you don't want to dine at the Park," she said at length.
Jem's sudden movement was as of one awakened from a dream. "It's no matter," he said.
"But if you are too tired—" Jean paused, astonished at her own words. Nobody at the Rectory ever thought of leaving a matter undone, merely on account of fatigue.
Jem did not at once reply. He was leaning back, quiet enough outwardly: and Jean could not see through the shield of composure. She could see the pale and drawn look: she could not know how intense was the craving to judge for himself as to Evelyn's happiness. The whole force of his desires pointed in that direction. But there was another side to the matter. Jem needed all his powers for his work: and if one glimpse of Evelyn's face had so destroyed his calm, how would things be after a whole evening in her presence? Might he deliberately risk it? Would it not be wiser, better, to keep away? For he could do no good. If Evelyn were not happy, he had no power to touch her unhappiness. Seeing her thus could only mean distress to himself, not gain to her.
Jean stood waiting, perplexed at his indecision; and as his hand went slowly over the rumpled hair, she began again—
"If your head is so bad—I mean, if you think you had better not go—"
"It is bad. Yes—I think I had better not go."
"Stay at home! Must you?" Jean had not expected this; and she was a good deal disappointed in Jem.