"But—one may sometimes judge—" began Hermione.
"No, that we have not to do. We may judge lines of conduct, but we may not judge individuals. Happily the decision on that head does not rest with us. If it did, we should too often in our conceit shut out those who may be nearer Christ than we are ourselves."
[CHAPTER XXVIII.]
JULIA'S COGITATIONS.
JULIA was very ill, and she knew it, and she had no fear. It seemed wonderful. For years she had dreaded the end of life, had shrunk from the thought of death. And now suddenly it might be close at hand, yet she was not terrified.
It had not occurred to her that while she, the wandering sheep, sought the Shepherd, the Shepherd also sought her. And not till the moment of dire peril and need came did she realise that He had found her, that she was actually safe in His keeping, that under the shadow of His Hand no harm could arrive. She had not known Him well hitherto, but knowledge grew fast in the hours of silent suffering, when she had just to lie and wait for what He might will to do to her.
Julia said little through those days of weakness. Much talk was forbidden and impossible. If it had not been, her sense of peace was too new for careless handling. She wanted to learn, not to teach. The peace was apparent, however, in her quiet face, in the absence of all murmurs. From time to time she asked anxiously after her husband, and smiled to hear that he was doing well. For herself, she wished to get better, but there were no impatient longings.
Then the tide turned, and Julia knew that she was on the highroad to recovery.
A certain reaction followed, not in actual loss of peace, for that remained, but in thronging recollections and conjectures. The burdens of common life had to be taken up once more, or they would have to be soon. Julia could not put them aside till the necessary moment: Her very lack of physical power made control of thought the more difficult.
She could not get Hermione out of her head, and the remembrance of her husband's words, at the moment of extreme peril, was incessantly present.