“If any stranger had told me that this 'prentice did not model that thing from plaster-casts I should not have believed it. It's full of crudities, but it's full of genius, too. Hartford must send him to Paris for two years; then, if the promise holds good, keep him there three more.”
When he was gone Mrs. Clemens said:
“Youth, we won't wait for Hartford to do it. It would take too long. Let us send the Gerhardts to Paris ourselves, and say nothing about it to any one else.”
So the Gerhardts, provided with funds and an arrangement that would enable them to live for five years in Paris if necessary, were started across the sea without further delay.
Clemens and his wife were often doing something of this sort. There was seldom a time that they were not paying the way of some young man or woman through college, or providing means and opportunity for development in some special field of industry.
CXXXIV. LITERARY PROJECTS AND A MONUMENT TO ADAM
Mark Twain's literary work languished during this period. He had a world of plans, as usual, and wrote plentifully, but without direction or conclusion. “A Curious Experience,” which relates a circumstance told to him by an army officer, is about the most notable of the few completed manuscripts of this period.
Of the books projected (there were several), a burlesque manual of etiquette would seem to have been the most promising. Howells had faith in it, and of the still remaining fragments a few seem worth quoting:
AT BILLIARDS
If your ball glides along in the intense and immediate vicinity of
the object-ball, and a count seems exquisitely imminent, lift one
leg; then one shoulder; then squirm your body around in sympathy
with the direction of the moving ball; and at the instant when the
ball seems on the point of colliding throw up both of your arms
violently. Your cue will probably break a chandelier, but no
matter; you have done what you could to help the count.
AT THE DOG-FIGHT
If it occur in your block, courteously give way to strangers
desiring a view, particularly ladies.
Avoid showing partiality toward the one dog, lest you hurt the
feelings of the other one.
Let your secret sympathies and your compassion be always with the
under dog in the fight—this is magnanimity; but bet on the other
one—this is business.
AT POKER
If you draw to a flush and fail to fill, do not continue the
conflict.
If you hold a pair of trays, and your opponent is blind, and it
costs you fifty to see him, let him remain unperceived.
If you hold nothing but ace high, and by some means you know that
the other man holds the rest of the aces, and he calls, excuse
yourself; let him call again another time.
WALL STREET
If you live in the country, buy at 80, sell at 40. Avoid all forms
of eccentricity.
IN THE RESTAURANT
When you wish to get the waiter's attention, do not sing out “Say!”
Simply say “Szt!”