Clemens tacked this notice on his front door:
NOTICE
TO THE NEXT BURGLAR
There is nothing but plated ware in this house now and henceforth.
You will find it in that brass thing in the dining-room over in the
corner by the basket of kittens.
If you want the basket put the kittens in the brass thing. Do not
make a noise—it disturbs the family.
You will find rubbers in the front hall by that thing which has the umbrellas in it, chiffonnier, I think they call it, or pergola, or something like that.
Please close the door when you go away!
Very truly yours,
S. L. CLEMENS.